Chapter 3: The Tiger
Last time, nothing happened. Stuff happens this time, but not a lot of stuff.
Chapter 3: The Tiger
First off, this chapter is significantly longer than both previous full chapters. More specifically, it's about twice as long as the first chapter. Chapters should probably be roughly the same length, but I'm not a huge stickler about that because some chapters have more important plot stuff than others. And this chapter is certainly more important than all that nonsense with Circus Mario and his band of Irrelevant Extras, since Kelsey finally meets the circus's tiger. Could this be the very same Tiger that was Cursed? I can't wait to find out!!
The chapter opens immediately after the circus ends, with Kelsey complaining (again) about doing the work that she signed up to do. She puts a happy face on and does the work anyway, which would be interesting setup for character development if this stuff every showed up again in any capacity. Actually, I take that back, since Kelsey complains for the entirety of the story, which means that this is just an unpleasant character trait instead of the beginnings of character growth.
Ha, imagine if characters actually developed throughout this story.
Kelsey reflects on the circus that we just sat through, and decides that she liked the dogs the best. Which is weird, because she spent less than a single sentence describing said dog show. Here, look:
As we sat down, Matt's dad came into the ring to do his dog show.
That's it! Compared to the extensive description of the tiger's performance, the dog show is glanced over. If you read through the chapter quickly instead of poring over each sentence individually like I am, you'd completely miss it!
Not that I particularly wanted a play-by-play of the entire circus, but Kelsey was obviously more interested in the tiger. I just want some consistency, dammit!
Kelsey thinks back to the weird experience with the tiger (giving more evidence to why the dogs clearly weren't her favorite) and wonders why it smelled like sandalwood. She seems to have forgotten that the tiger also smelled like night-blooming jasmine, which means that there's more inconsistencies over the course of, like, a page between the two chapters.
After finishing up with her work, Kelsey chills for a bit before dinner, remarking about how helpful the circus folk are with each other, which kind of casts a bad light on Sarah and Michael by proxy since she's surprised that people who like each other are willing to help out, whereas Michael constantly tries to get out of doing chores around the house. This, again, could be an interesting setup to some themes or character development for later, giving the circus any point other than "tiger is here," but, alas, it is not to be. The circus must remain completely pointless.
She thinks some more about the tiger, and considers studying biology in college because of her interest in animals, but then [thinks] about her extreme dislike of biology and [knows] that [she'd] never make it in that field.
Then why bring this stuff up if the character herself immediately dismisses it? It's a waste of time to read!
(Also, as a biology major, I resent that.)
After this pointless interlude, Kelsey goes to dinner, making time to take another jab at Sarah's vegan cooking. Ugh.
The circus gathers together, and my favorite character shows up again! He speaks more badly written bilingual English!
"Favuloso performance, everyone! And a most excellente job to our newest salesperson, eh? Tonight is a celebration! Mangiate. Fill your plates, mia famiglia!"
I hate him so much.
Dinner is, predictably, Italian food.
After dinner, Kelsey asks Matt about the tiger, because now that the tiger has been introduced in a book called Tiger's Curse the protagonist is forbidden from thinking about anything else. Apparently, this circus has only had him for about five years, and the tiger has been passed from circus to circus for some time before that. How mysterious!
Wait, no, that's the exact same story behind Scabbers from Harry Potter.
I guess it's more believable than deciding to go to high school for a hundred years, though.
There's a bit about Kelsey reading a book before going to bed, but since we don't even hear which book she's reading it's completely pointless. I'd even take Romeo and Juliet at this point.
The next morning, Kelsey goes to work with Matt's dad (who's the resident animal wrangler, in case you don't remember, which I don't blame you for, because Matt's dad doesn't even get a name). He looks a lot like Matt, which would mean something if we knew what Matt looked like.
Kelsey and Matt's dad (seriously, can we at least get a last name or something?) walk the dogs and Kelsey finally gets to ask the question that her one-track brain has been stuck on for the last twelve hours. What's up with the tiger???
Matt's dad launches into a monologue about how they got the tiger, which is literally just a more drawn-out version of what Matt said, and offers no additional information. They got the tiger from another circus, and he's oddly calm for a tiger.
I think the pages of the manuscript must have been stuck together or something because the editor missed not one, not two, but three separate grammatical issues on this one page.
Number one: He figured that I worked well with other animals, so why not tigers. [sic] There should be a question mark at the end of the sentence.
Number two: I was extremely unprepared to take on an animal of that size though I stayed and traveled with the other circus for a while. [sic] I honestly have no idea what this is supposed to say. This sentence is completely unintelligible to me. Maybe I'm missing something? Is it supposed to be "so" instead of "though," or is it missing a comma?
Number three: The white was more even tempered and seemed to like working with me. [sic] Even-tempered is always hyphenated.
I think the editor gave up after the first couple of chapters, since there are so many mistakes throughout the rest of this book. I even compared the digital copy I've been using to the physical copy that I also own (why do I have two copies of this??) and the errors appear identically in the print version. I have no idea how this book got published.
Kelsey asks Matt's dad if white tigers came from India, to which Matt's dad says that even though most people think they come from Russia, white tigers are more commonly Bengal tigers rather than Siberian tigers. This is actually true and pretty interesting--doing more research (on Wikipedia) this is due to a knockout of an amino acid responsible for pheomelanin production. Since pheomelanin makes orange pigment, the tigers are quasi-albino--they can't express all melanin, but they can express some (which is why they still have stripes). Hey, I mentioned that I majored in biology, I find this stuff interesting.
However, like my genetics tangent, this statement is pointless since we already know that the tiger comes from India.
Matt's dad allows Kelsey to help him take care of the tiger, potentially hoping that she'll get eaten or something. While finishing up taking care of the dogs, Matt's dad--completely out of the blue, mind you--mentions that tigers are endangered and that they are commonly poached in India. Okay? How is this relevant? How is any of this relevant? WHY ARE WE STILL IN OREGON IN THIS CIRCUS???
I know I've written quite a lot about stuff that doesn't matter at all, but if it's important enough to be in the book I thought I'd relay the information. If I had to sit through it, so do you.
We finally meet the eponymous tiger, and--
Those eyes. They were mesmerizing. They stared right into me, almost as if the tiger was examining my soul.
Sorry, I'm getting interrupted by melodramatic narration. And yes, this sentence appears italicized in the narration despite not being Kelsey's transcribed thoughts, which do appear italicized. What's consistency again?
Kelsey feels lonely when looking into the tiger's eyes and distracts herself by paying attention to Matt's dad. There's another mistake when Matt's dad feeds the tiger a quartercup [sic] of vitamins, which should be written as "quarter cup" or "quarter-cup." Then Matt's dad tells Kelsey to feed the tiger and fucks promptly off to go do paperwork, leaving a minor completely unattended with a dangerous animal while she feeds it raw meat. I think he might actually be trying to get her eaen. Regardless, this opens up some potential lawsuits against Matt's dad and the circus if Kelsey is bitten or killed by the tiger. Seriously, he should be supervising this, at least.
Kelsey goes and gets the tiger's food and feeds it through the safety panel, and asks Matt's dad some questions. Wait, he literally just said that he was going to be doing paperwork, so why is he still hanging out in here to answer questions? It just SAID--
If I get worked up over every inconsistency I am going to set fire to my laptop, so I'll just ignore it and move on.
There's this fun exchange, which I'll quote verbatim:
"Mr. Davis, is that a female or a male tiger?"
A noise came from the cage, a deep rumble from the tiger's chest.
I turned to look at the tiger. "What are you growling at me for?"
Matt's dad laughed. "Ah, you've offended him. He's very sensitive, you know. In answer to your question, he is a male."
"Hmm."
Several points. One, that question is not even remotely how a human being talks. Two, I'm not sure how seriously I should be taking Matt's dad here (oh yeah, he does get a surname finally), since the tiger is actually reacting to the question. Is this a common thing? It must be, since Matt's dad doesn't comment on how this is unusual. And why does Kelsey respond to the information that this is a male tiger with "Hmm," anyway?? That has some...troubling implications.
Matt's dad practices the routine with the tiger again, which is really fun to read for a second time. He apparently sucks as a trainer and steps on the tiger's tail, but for some reason the tiger doesn't attack him. After this bit of redundancy is over, Kelsey gets permission to hang out with the tiger, which, again, is just a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Tonight's performance is (thankfully) not re-described for a third time, but it does allow Kelsey to make fun of old people! For those curious, all the patrons shuffled slowly into the ring, found their seats, and promptly fell asleep. I love having a protagonist that just makes fun of everyone instead of doing anything interesting. And then during intermission, all the old people have to go to the bathroom! Ha ha, old people!
After the show (which apparently only exists so that Kelsey can...complain about not doing work this time) Kelsey goes to the tiger's cage to draw him. The tiger looks meaningfully at her again. Kelsey responds by saying, "Hey, Mister. What are you looking at?" Um, "mister" shouldn't be capitalized unless it's directly preceding a surname. Unless this is a reference to Harry Dresden's cat which I highly doubt.
Kelsey sketches the tiger, and it's very Special. Kelsey reflects to when Matt's dad explained that no two tigers' stripes are the same, which is funny, because we've been present for all of Matt's dad's dialogue and he didn't say this at any point. Kelsey decides to nickname the tiger Ren and just starts babbling at it.
"What's your name again? Ah, Dhiren. Well, I'll just call you Ren. Hope that's alright with you. So how's your day been? Did you enjoy your breakfast? You know, you have a very handsome face, for something that could eat me."
And so on.
She promises Ren that she'll come back later to read him some poetry, and feels disconcerted when the tiger continues to stare at her. Matt's dad poofs in out of the aether to check in on her, and Kelsey decides to ask another weird question.
"Doesn't he ever get lonely by himself? Haven't you tried to, you know, find him a girl tiger?"
Because everything has to come back to romance!
Matt's dad said that the previous circus tried to breed him with another tiger before but he wasn't having any of it. This is hysterical since (spoiler!) this tiger is a human dude. I can't believe I didn't notice this little tidbit until now.
Kelsey's brain, as usual, is stuck on this information. Poor thing. All alone with no girl tiger and no tiger cubs. She does go on to think about him being stuck in captivity, but we all know that since this is a YA paranormal romance she's really upset about the romance thing.
After dinner, Kelsey decides to read Ren Romeo and Juliet. I was joking before, dammit! To be fair, though, I can't think of anything more romantic than a story about two teenagers killing themselves over lust. I just...I have no words.
"Hey, Ren. Would you like me to read to you for a while? Now Romeo [sic] and Juliet don't have any tigers in their story, but Romeo does climb a balcony, so you just picture yourself climbing a tree, okay? Wait a second. Let me create the proper setting."
Kelsey, uh, sets the mood. And yes, it is missing a comma. What's editing?
"Ah. They don't make men like Romeo anymore. Maybe there never has been such a man. Present company excluded, of course. I'm sure you're a very romantic tiger. Shakespeare sure wrote about dreamy men, didn't he?"
I think this speaks for itself about the dialogue.
There's another missing comma on this page: He appreciated the work I did though. [sic]
A week later, Ren starts acting funny during his performance in the circus, almost like he's looking for something. Then he looks at Kelsey and won't look away, which everyone thinks is really strange. How mysterious!
After the show (is this getting repetitive yet? It is for me, too!) Kelsey is, once again, hanging out with Ren. Kelsey has a Feeling that she needs to touch Ren.
Feelings are dumb. I mean, big "F' Feelings. They're a lazy way to make a character do something for no real reason. Why does Kelsey need to touch Ren? Because they need to Bond.
While she's petting him, he licks her hand, which tickles.
Chapter 3: The Tiger
First off, this chapter is significantly longer than both previous full chapters. More specifically, it's about twice as long as the first chapter. Chapters should probably be roughly the same length, but I'm not a huge stickler about that because some chapters have more important plot stuff than others. And this chapter is certainly more important than all that nonsense with Circus Mario and his band of Irrelevant Extras, since Kelsey finally meets the circus's tiger. Could this be the very same Tiger that was Cursed? I can't wait to find out!!
The chapter opens immediately after the circus ends, with Kelsey complaining (again) about doing the work that she signed up to do. She puts a happy face on and does the work anyway, which would be interesting setup for character development if this stuff every showed up again in any capacity. Actually, I take that back, since Kelsey complains for the entirety of the story, which means that this is just an unpleasant character trait instead of the beginnings of character growth.
Ha, imagine if characters actually developed throughout this story.
Kelsey reflects on the circus that we just sat through, and decides that she liked the dogs the best. Which is weird, because she spent less than a single sentence describing said dog show. Here, look:
As we sat down, Matt's dad came into the ring to do his dog show.
That's it! Compared to the extensive description of the tiger's performance, the dog show is glanced over. If you read through the chapter quickly instead of poring over each sentence individually like I am, you'd completely miss it!
Not that I particularly wanted a play-by-play of the entire circus, but Kelsey was obviously more interested in the tiger. I just want some consistency, dammit!
Kelsey thinks back to the weird experience with the tiger (giving more evidence to why the dogs clearly weren't her favorite) and wonders why it smelled like sandalwood. She seems to have forgotten that the tiger also smelled like night-blooming jasmine, which means that there's more inconsistencies over the course of, like, a page between the two chapters.
After finishing up with her work, Kelsey chills for a bit before dinner, remarking about how helpful the circus folk are with each other, which kind of casts a bad light on Sarah and Michael by proxy since she's surprised that people who like each other are willing to help out, whereas Michael constantly tries to get out of doing chores around the house. This, again, could be an interesting setup to some themes or character development for later, giving the circus any point other than "tiger is here," but, alas, it is not to be. The circus must remain completely pointless.
She thinks some more about the tiger, and considers studying biology in college because of her interest in animals, but then [thinks] about her extreme dislike of biology and [knows] that [she'd] never make it in that field.
Then why bring this stuff up if the character herself immediately dismisses it? It's a waste of time to read!
(Also, as a biology major, I resent that.)
After this pointless interlude, Kelsey goes to dinner, making time to take another jab at Sarah's vegan cooking. Ugh.
The circus gathers together, and my favorite character shows up again! He speaks more badly written bilingual English!
"Favuloso performance, everyone! And a most excellente job to our newest salesperson, eh? Tonight is a celebration! Mangiate. Fill your plates, mia famiglia!"
I hate him so much.
Dinner is, predictably, Italian food.
After dinner, Kelsey asks Matt about the tiger, because now that the tiger has been introduced in a book called Tiger's Curse the protagonist is forbidden from thinking about anything else. Apparently, this circus has only had him for about five years, and the tiger has been passed from circus to circus for some time before that. How mysterious!
Wait, no, that's the exact same story behind Scabbers from Harry Potter.
I guess it's more believable than deciding to go to high school for a hundred years, though.
There's a bit about Kelsey reading a book before going to bed, but since we don't even hear which book she's reading it's completely pointless. I'd even take Romeo and Juliet at this point.
The next morning, Kelsey goes to work with Matt's dad (who's the resident animal wrangler, in case you don't remember, which I don't blame you for, because Matt's dad doesn't even get a name). He looks a lot like Matt, which would mean something if we knew what Matt looked like.
Kelsey and Matt's dad (seriously, can we at least get a last name or something?) walk the dogs and Kelsey finally gets to ask the question that her one-track brain has been stuck on for the last twelve hours. What's up with the tiger???
Matt's dad launches into a monologue about how they got the tiger, which is literally just a more drawn-out version of what Matt said, and offers no additional information. They got the tiger from another circus, and he's oddly calm for a tiger.
I think the pages of the manuscript must have been stuck together or something because the editor missed not one, not two, but three separate grammatical issues on this one page.
Number one: He figured that I worked well with other animals, so why not tigers. [sic] There should be a question mark at the end of the sentence.
Number two: I was extremely unprepared to take on an animal of that size though I stayed and traveled with the other circus for a while. [sic] I honestly have no idea what this is supposed to say. This sentence is completely unintelligible to me. Maybe I'm missing something? Is it supposed to be "so" instead of "though," or is it missing a comma?
Number three: The white was more even tempered and seemed to like working with me. [sic] Even-tempered is always hyphenated.
I think the editor gave up after the first couple of chapters, since there are so many mistakes throughout the rest of this book. I even compared the digital copy I've been using to the physical copy that I also own (why do I have two copies of this??) and the errors appear identically in the print version. I have no idea how this book got published.
Kelsey asks Matt's dad if white tigers came from India, to which Matt's dad says that even though most people think they come from Russia, white tigers are more commonly Bengal tigers rather than Siberian tigers. This is actually true and pretty interesting--doing more research (on Wikipedia) this is due to a knockout of an amino acid responsible for pheomelanin production. Since pheomelanin makes orange pigment, the tigers are quasi-albino--they can't express all melanin, but they can express some (which is why they still have stripes). Hey, I mentioned that I majored in biology, I find this stuff interesting.
However, like my genetics tangent, this statement is pointless since we already know that the tiger comes from India.
Matt's dad allows Kelsey to help him take care of the tiger, potentially hoping that she'll get eaten or something. While finishing up taking care of the dogs, Matt's dad--completely out of the blue, mind you--mentions that tigers are endangered and that they are commonly poached in India. Okay? How is this relevant? How is any of this relevant? WHY ARE WE STILL IN OREGON IN THIS CIRCUS???
I know I've written quite a lot about stuff that doesn't matter at all, but if it's important enough to be in the book I thought I'd relay the information. If I had to sit through it, so do you.
We finally meet the eponymous tiger, and--
Those eyes. They were mesmerizing. They stared right into me, almost as if the tiger was examining my soul.
Sorry, I'm getting interrupted by melodramatic narration. And yes, this sentence appears italicized in the narration despite not being Kelsey's transcribed thoughts, which do appear italicized. What's consistency again?
Kelsey feels lonely when looking into the tiger's eyes and distracts herself by paying attention to Matt's dad. There's another mistake when Matt's dad feeds the tiger a quartercup [sic] of vitamins, which should be written as "quarter cup" or "quarter-cup." Then Matt's dad tells Kelsey to feed the tiger and fucks promptly off to go do paperwork, leaving a minor completely unattended with a dangerous animal while she feeds it raw meat. I think he might actually be trying to get her eaen. Regardless, this opens up some potential lawsuits against Matt's dad and the circus if Kelsey is bitten or killed by the tiger. Seriously, he should be supervising this, at least.
Kelsey goes and gets the tiger's food and feeds it through the safety panel, and asks Matt's dad some questions. Wait, he literally just said that he was going to be doing paperwork, so why is he still hanging out in here to answer questions? It just SAID--
If I get worked up over every inconsistency I am going to set fire to my laptop, so I'll just ignore it and move on.
There's this fun exchange, which I'll quote verbatim:
"Mr. Davis, is that a female or a male tiger?"
A noise came from the cage, a deep rumble from the tiger's chest.
I turned to look at the tiger. "What are you growling at me for?"
Matt's dad laughed. "Ah, you've offended him. He's very sensitive, you know. In answer to your question, he is a male."
"Hmm."
Several points. One, that question is not even remotely how a human being talks. Two, I'm not sure how seriously I should be taking Matt's dad here (oh yeah, he does get a surname finally), since the tiger is actually reacting to the question. Is this a common thing? It must be, since Matt's dad doesn't comment on how this is unusual. And why does Kelsey respond to the information that this is a male tiger with "Hmm," anyway?? That has some...troubling implications.
Tonight's performance is (thankfully) not re-described for a third time, but it does allow Kelsey to make fun of old people! For those curious, all the patrons shuffled slowly into the ring, found their seats, and promptly fell asleep. I love having a protagonist that just makes fun of everyone instead of doing anything interesting. And then during intermission, all the old people have to go to the bathroom! Ha ha, old people!
After the show (which apparently only exists so that Kelsey can...complain about not doing work this time) Kelsey goes to the tiger's cage to draw him. The tiger looks meaningfully at her again. Kelsey responds by saying, "Hey, Mister. What are you looking at?" Um, "mister" shouldn't be capitalized unless it's directly preceding a surname. Unless this is a reference to Harry Dresden's cat which I highly doubt.
Kelsey sketches the tiger, and it's very Special. Kelsey reflects to when Matt's dad explained that no two tigers' stripes are the same, which is funny, because we've been present for all of Matt's dad's dialogue and he didn't say this at any point. Kelsey decides to nickname the tiger Ren and just starts babbling at it.
"What's your name again? Ah, Dhiren. Well, I'll just call you Ren. Hope that's alright with you. So how's your day been? Did you enjoy your breakfast? You know, you have a very handsome face, for something that could eat me."
And so on.
She promises Ren that she'll come back later to read him some poetry, and feels disconcerted when the tiger continues to stare at her. Matt's dad poofs in out of the aether to check in on her, and Kelsey decides to ask another weird question.
"Doesn't he ever get lonely by himself? Haven't you tried to, you know, find him a girl tiger?"
Because everything has to come back to romance!
Matt's dad said that the previous circus tried to breed him with another tiger before but he wasn't having any of it. This is hysterical since (spoiler!) this tiger is a human dude. I can't believe I didn't notice this little tidbit until now.
Kelsey's brain, as usual, is stuck on this information. Poor thing. All alone with no girl tiger and no tiger cubs. She does go on to think about him being stuck in captivity, but we all know that since this is a YA paranormal romance she's really upset about the romance thing.
After dinner, Kelsey decides to read Ren Romeo and Juliet. I was joking before, dammit! To be fair, though, I can't think of anything more romantic than a story about two teenagers killing themselves over lust. I just...I have no words.
"Hey, Ren. Would you like me to read to you for a while? Now Romeo [sic] and Juliet don't have any tigers in their story, but Romeo does climb a balcony, so you just picture yourself climbing a tree, okay? Wait a second. Let me create the proper setting."
Kelsey, uh, sets the mood. And yes, it is missing a comma. What's editing?
"Ah. They don't make men like Romeo anymore. Maybe there never has been such a man. Present company excluded, of course. I'm sure you're a very romantic tiger. Shakespeare sure wrote about dreamy men, didn't he?"
I think this speaks for itself about the dialogue.
There's another missing comma on this page: He appreciated the work I did though. [sic]
A week later, Ren starts acting funny during his performance in the circus, almost like he's looking for something. Then he looks at Kelsey and won't look away, which everyone thinks is really strange. How mysterious!
After the show (is this getting repetitive yet? It is for me, too!) Kelsey is, once again, hanging out with Ren. Kelsey has a Feeling that she needs to touch Ren.
Feelings are dumb. I mean, big "F' Feelings. They're a lazy way to make a character do something for no real reason. Why does Kelsey need to touch Ren? Because they need to Bond.
While she's petting him, he licks her hand, which tickles.
Tiger tongues are extremely rough, and are designed to strip flesh from bones. I don't want that anywhere near my bare skin.
Kelsey lets him lick her hand some more, which should end up with a degloved hand and a hefty lawsuit against Matt's dad and the circus, but since this book doesn't care about tigers outside of "they look cool" it just gets her hand all slobbery.
Then Kelsey reads Ren a poem called "I Am the Cat" by Leila Usher. I'm not personally a huge fan of this one, and I think "The Tyger" is a much better poem. Could have just used that one here instead of in the epigraph that's too long, but noooo.
Kelsey thinks about how sad it is that's he's in captivity again, and pets him again because she feels sorry for him. She scratches behind his ear and he starts purring. Which would be cute, except for the fact that tigers can't purr. Big cats--lions, tigers, jaguars, and leopards--can roar, but they can't purr. In fact it's impossible for a cat to both roar and purr. This book fails at biology and basic research.
I pulled my hand out of the cage, slowly again, and watched him for a minute, deliberating on what had happened. He had an almost human expression of melancholy on his face. If tigers have souls, and I believe they do, I imagine his to be a lonely and sad one.
I looked into those big blue eyes and whispered, "I wish you were free."
Deep. And redundant.
Closing Thoughts
Well, at the very least this chapter is better than the previous one. Stuff actually happens in it--Kelsey meets Ren and starts to develop a bond with him. There are some hints that Ren is a bit more than just a normal tiger, since he acts like he's able to understand her. And he seems especially interested in Kelsey.
But, other than plot happening (slowly), there's so much nothing that can be cut out of this chapter. Most of the conversations are repetitive, and Kelsey has about three original thoughts that she gets stuck on for so long. There's the idea that he must be lonely without a girlfriend because YA novels have to only be about romance and nothing else. And she gets stuck on thinking about how he's in captivity over and over again. Which could be interesting if it was written well, but it's just so dull.
And this is our first taste of what it's like to have an editor who was either asleep or, just, blackout drunk. There are a number of grammatical errors--incorrect capitalization, missing commas, incorrect hyphenating. It's like the editor worked on the first couple of chapters for the preview on Amazon and just gave up after that. It doesn't get better.
Next time, Chapter 4: The Stranger!
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