Chapter 11: Beach Party
Hello, and welcome back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense!
Last time, we had a lot of actual Plot happen! Ren broke up with Kelsey because he can'tsmush protect her, and Durga gave them two gifts--a kamandal and a spear/trident/sai combo, and pointed them to the right direction once they get to the City of Seven Pagodas to complete their quest.
Exhausted with this massive amount of plot happening all at once, Houck made this chapter more filler. It's the obligatory Beach Episode! So, uh, more annoying relationship drama. And I was wrong about the new character showing up, sorry--that's next chapter. Whoops.
Chapter Eleven: Beach Party
It really feels like there should be an exclamation point after that chapter title.
Kelsey meets up with Wes, Ren, and Kishan to do some shark training exercises, which involves watching videos of sharks swimming around in the ocean. Wes gives some advice on how to avoid provoking sharks, including not wearing bright colors. Ren says they'll get her a plain black suit when they stop in the next town. Kelsey points out that that's what she wanted in the first place, and Ren says that it'll be good for her to wear a suit that's less ". . . enticing," ellipses and all.
Also, it's not really the color sharks are attracted to--it's the contrast in color between the water and whatever you're wearing. To the point that some divers prefer to wear blue instead of black to avoid great white sharks, since black still contrasts against the water.
But whatever. That's just me doing research.
They argue some more, and Kelsey accuses Ren of hoping she gets eaten by a shark. It goes on for way too long, and devolves into them calling each other names like actual children.
"I'd like to see you try, you hardheaded--"
Ren smiled coldly and countered, "Unbending."
"Mulish!"
"Unreasonable!"
"Bullheaded, pigheaded, tigerheaded--"
"Tigerheaded?" Wes asked in puzzlement.
Kishan just shrugged his shoulders.
Comedy?
I'm really struggling to see the point of these arguments they have. Sure, it beats them just being happy and in love for the whole series, but half the time they're played for laughs instead of any actual drama. It's like Houck is saying, "You know they're going to end up together in the end anyway, so it doesn't matter if their arguments are funny!"
Wes says that it's time for a break. Nilima brought in some juice, so he tells Ren and Kelsey to work through their drama before they reconvene. Kelsey considers throwing her juice in Ren's face, but contents herself with listening to him insult her again. He says that she makes everything so difficult, and when she disagrees, he says that this is the easier option. He also says that he's only in the same room as her because he has to learn about sharks. Kelsey says that as a predator he should already know everything there is to know about predators.
Um, Kelsey. There's an important thing you're forgetting.
TIGERS AREN'T THE SAME THING AS SHARKS (with the possible exception of tiger sharks). Hunting on land isn't the same thing as hunting in the water. And no, I don't think the whole "predator" thing is meant to be an insult, because Ren has on more than one occasion reacted to being called a "predator" by flirt-stalking Kelsey. He likes being called a predator.
"I'm easy to figure out. A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and . . . actually, no it's just those two things."
I mean...this is already a joke. It's the four Fs of survival--fighting, fleeing, feeding, and...mating. So it's not really original, now, is it?
ALSO this doesn't even make sense, because the reason he broke up with her in the first place is because he can't have sex with her. If what he's saying is true, he'd be fine staying with Kelsey!
Kelsey says that Kishan wouldn't limit himself to those two, and asks Ren why he'd want to date someone unattractive. Ren says that he didn't call her unattractive, just that he'd try to find someone prettier. He didn't say he'd be successful in finding someone prettier. Because he still loves her So Much, guys, even though he constantly tells her what to do, insults her, breaks up with her with no explanation...
They head back into class and Wes continues the lesson. He talks a lot about what to do if a shark attacks you. I don't know much about shark attacks, but I do know about what happens later on in the book. None of this is ever useful information. Yes, there is a shark attack, but it's, like, a giant magical shark, and none of the tips that Wes gives are useful.
But still, this explanation goes on for three pages.
After the lesson, Wes goes spearfishing with Ren and Kishan, leaving Mr. Kadam and Kelsey on the boat (no mention of Nilima). They figure that now is the perfect time to test how Kelsey's lightning powers work underwater, as opposed to in the privacy of their own home or before picking up a stranger for diving lessons.
Hey, where is the crew through all of this? I guess it's possible that the captain can't see this part of the boat from the wheelhouse, but I highly doubt that Kelsey or the others would deign to clean up after themselves. Where are the crew members cleaning decks, restocking that juice bar, cooking meals for them? Maintaining that fancy pool? They literally don't show up a single time in the entire book until the end. Guess they have to stay below deck like the lower class they are.
Actually, they go practice in the wet garage, which is an even worse idea, since I'm pretty sure that's how Wes, Ren, and Kishan got into the water. It sure would be awkward for them to resurface right when Kelsey's zapping stuff.
Why is everyone in this book so dumb I don't understand
Kelsey stands above the surface of the water and zaps some weighted buoys underwater. Mr. Kadam tells her that her aiming will be a little different because of the water, but she only misses once before she's a crack shot again. The buoy literally explodes underwater (sending shrapnel down to the ocean floor, and further polluting the ocean for no reason when they have a perfectly good pool on board).
Then they head to the pool, where Mr. Kadam throws some dummies into the water for Kelsey to try zapping. I'm not sure why it matters if it's a dummy or a buoy, since they're both floating targets where the only difference is the shape, but whatever. He says that he wants to see how it works here before trying it in salt water.
But--
But you were just using salt water with the buoys! That was down in the wet garage, which opens up into the ocean, which is...which is salt water...
I--
My brain hurts.
Kelsey gets into the pool and Mr. Kadam tells her to use her power gradually. Kelsey is worried that she'll get electrocuted, but fortunately Mr. Exposition has a couple of reasons why that probably won't happen. First, he replaced all of the water in the pool with low conductivity water, with all of the impurities removed. This is dumb, because he did that when they were last docked--expecting an entire pool full of water to stay pure is absurd, especially when he lists "dust" as one of the impurities that can conduct an electrical current. It's also dumb because Kelsey herself will be in the pool. You know, sweating, shedding skin cells, and adding impurities to the water that she'll be inside. So this is a terrible explanation.
Second, Mr. Kadam says that her power probably isn't lightning after all--he has a theory that it's actually a superheated stream of fire that just looks like lightning.
Huh?
Yeah, Kelsey's lightning powers look like lightning. They also behave like lightning. The following quotes are from Tiger's Quest (because she didn't actually, uh, use her lightning powers much in the first book).
A lightning bolt exploded from my hand to the body of my attacker. It lifted his body into the air and slammed him into a tree hard enough to make it shake.
Because fire is know for its ability to throw people around. I mean, technically, lightning isn't either, but electricity can jolt people around by causing their muscles to contract.
I took advantage of the distance between them, raised my hand, and hit the bear right on the nose with a small lightning jolt.
Because fire is known for its ability to "jolt" people.
Another [bird] came too close so I zapped it with a lightning bolt. The energy hit the bird on its chest and bounced off, scorching the nest not a foot from where Kishan was standing.
Because fire is known for its ability to bounce off of things.
My second arrow hit its neck and, imbued with lightning power, gave the bird a shock.
This one's perhaps the most damning, because it's pretty obvious when something is getting shocked vs. getting burned.
Energy shot out in a long white burst. First one and then the other three floodlights popped and exploded when my lightning power hit.
Because fire is known for its ability to overload electronic devices and short circuit them.
Mr. Kadam is, naturally, entirely correct. This is a stupid retcon that makes me immeasurably angry.
Kelsey tries tozap burn the targets underwater and eventually builds up enough juice to to burn a piece of wood in the pool.
The water started boiling where the stream of light entered, and the wood turned black.
This displays an astounding lack of understanding of how boiling works. Water doesn't boil until the entire body of water is hot enough to boil! Kelsey just fucking cooked herself!
Well, of course not.
They test out her powers some more with a duck in the pool. Yeah, they have a random duck lying around. No, I have no idea where they got it. I'm so angry.
She doesn't zap/burn the duck, so Mr. Kadam decides to get in the water to see how it affects other humans. Kelsey objects, saying that he's too important to risk, but Mr. Kadam points out that she's more important and that it's probably not a big deal anyway.
"Even so. Here I am. If Daffy's alright, I'll be fine too."
"Daffy?"
"Yes. Daffy Duck. I'm rather fond of Looney Tunes."
"I absolutely did not know that about you, Mr. Kadam! I would have never guessed. My father loved Coyote and Roadrunner. Okay, well, here's to hoping it's wabbit season and not duck season."
This dialogue hurts me on a spiritual level. No one talks like this.
She blasts the target and of course Mr. Kadam is fine. She tries zapping things with her hand underwater and it works perfectly, because struggling is for losers. They eventually head back to the wet garage and test it out in the ocean, and it behaves exactly the same.
"I definitely believe your power is more like fire than lightning," Mr. Kadam concluded when we had finished our session. "It reminds me of a blowtorch."
Hate. So much. Mr. Kadam packs Daffy back up into his cage to disappear from existence. Or be cooked up by the chef for their next dinner. I have no idea, he never shows up again.
So, the real question we have to ask is, what exactly is the point of retconning Kelsey's lightning powers?
Houck wants Kelsey to still be able to use her powers, so she completely retcons everything we know about them in order for her to do so. What could have been an interesting situation--where Kelsey can't use her powers and has to use actual ingenuity to solve problems--is completely ignored in favor of trying to keep things as easy as possible for the protagonist.
And, one more thing before I continue. Houck changed how Kelsey's powers work because lightning wouldn't work underwater. You know what else really doesn't work with water?
Fire.
This book is so dumb.
Everyone meets back up for dinner that night, and Kelsey refuses to eat meat for some reason. Wes says that they'll be docking in Trivandrum in a couple of days for a beach party! Wes asks if they want to go with him, and Mr. Kadam declines. Kelsey also says that she might not be up for a bikini type of party.
Wes shot me a dimpled smile. "Ah, now if I'd a had a pretty sweet young thing like you on my arm, I wouldna even notice them other gals."
Wouldna???? Is he turning Scottish now?
Kelsey says she'll let him know if she want to go with him tomorrow, and Wes kisses her hand, which makes Kishan growl. Comedy?
After dinner, Kishan walks her back to her room and they watch some dolphins. No real reason, but there's just some dolphins there.
Kishan expresses some reservations about Kelsey going to the party with Wes.
"Why on earth not?"
"I don't trust him."
We're again reiterating that Kishan doesn't trust Wes for some reason. Hmm.
Actually, he says it's because it's "too free with his compliments" to Kelsey, which makes him "slippery" and one of those men who likes to take advantage of people.
This is so intensely hypocritical I don't even know what to say about it. Kishan and Ren both constantly shower Kelsey with compliments and have each coerced Kelsey into given them kisses--Ren at the end of the first book, where he refused to leave Kishkindha until Kelsey gave him a real kiss, and Kishan's nickname is the fucking "Kissing Bandit." I guess it's okay when Ren and Kishan do it, but not anyone else?
Kelsey doesn't point this out, and instead is annoyed that Kishan thinks she's vulnerable. He points out that she just got out of a bad breakup and that makes her vulnerable. When she tells him she's going to move on no matter what, he asks her to go with him to the party instead. She immediately refuses because it feels like too much of a real date, and covers her ass by saying that since Wes asked first it would be rude to go with Kishan. He buys it and says that he'll be there anyway just in case anything happens.
Scene break! The next morning Kelsey hears movement in the adjoining door, so she knocks, thinking it's Ren. It's actually Kishan, who's in the middle of getting changed, which allows Kelsey to ogle his pecs. It turns out Kishan and Ren traded rooms. They spend the rest of the day hanging out and doing nothing productive, like riding the Jet Ski around.
Once they dock, Kelsey spends some time researching the weapons with Mr. Kadam until it's time for the party. The trident symbolizes Shiva and his three roles--creator, preserver, and destroyer--along with other stuff. It's not important what other stuff, because none of it actually comes back in a thematic way, which makes it pointless. Or a way for Houck to show off that she did research again.
Then it's time to get ready for the party!!! Nilima makes Kelsey an outfit with the Scarf (no word on whether Kelsey thanks her for that), and says she might stop by later. She puts on the new dress (which is very Pretty), and Wes literally whistles at her as she gets off the boat. Kelsey sees that she's overdressed compared to Wes's board shorts, and complains that she's used to wearing fancy stuff because of Ren and Kishan. Wes blocks her and says that she looks great and wants to show her off. Kelsey deflects by saying she's not wearing a bikini so people probably won't notice.
"There's a big difference between crass and class, sweetheart. And you are 100 percent class. Any feller with any sense would see I got a gem on my arm."
Ah, so every girl who's wearing a bikini is "crass" for...revealing her body? In a swimsuit? On the beach? I hate this.
They join the group of people dancing on the beach and it's a lot of fun. A bit bland, but described better than all of the diving nonsense.
The music almost made me feel like I was an Indian goddess sinuously moving my many limbs or a gypsy girl wearing a tinkling costume.
Eek. This is another example of the setting just being used to be "exotic" which is...troubling. Especially when Kelsey starts talking about gypsies (???) for absolutely no reason.
She has fun dancing with Wes, who distracts her from thoughts of Ren. They eventually stop and go to the buffet, which is described in exactly the same clinical way every other meal is--a dispassionate list of different dishes that goes on for much too long.
They dance and get some ice cream, and Kelsey feels comforted that Kishan is there watching over her. She's a bit disturbed about how good it feels to have Kishan standing guard, so she dances some more to put it out of her mind.
Later, she spots Ren, who's surrounded by a group of beautiful women. Kelsey immediately slut-shames them by pointing out that they're all scantily-clad, which obviously reflects on their moral character. Also, they're flirting outrageously with Ren. It's okay for men to flirt with Kelsey, but women aren't allowed to flirt with men. Ick.
There was a blonde, a brunette, a redhead. Tall girls, petite girls, long haired, short haired. I couldn't stop staring as the girls gyrated around him, jockeying for his attention while trying to snuff out the competition. A tall, tan blonde leaned closer to say something to him; he wrapped an arm around her waist and laughed, his white smile dazzling. She reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes, and my pulse slammed. Blood pounded through me. The air became thick. I couldn't breathe. I took deep gulps trying to prevent myself from throwing up.
It's okay when multiple men fawn over Kelsey, jockeying for attention by threatening to kill each other. It's okay for Kelsey to show interest in one of the men vying for her attention. But the minute other girls do the same thing, it's Wrong and Bad and they're all sluts.
I fucking hate this book.
Wes sees it too, and tells her it's time to go and that she doesn't have to watch those she-beasts daring to flirt with a single man. Kelsey thinks about using her lightning power to "blast the head off of every single girl who'd touched him," which is incredibly psychopathic and worrying.
She sees Kishan hanging at the end of the crowd and feels comforted, and thinks about her mom giving her advice to date someone she can rely on. She thinks that Kishan never pushed her into doing anything she wasn't comfortable with. The entire second book where they constantly argued about why she should date him begs to differ.
(He's still better than Ren, though.)
There's a nice moment where they lock eyes and he gives her a look, asking if she needs him to come help, and she shakes her head slightly. Wes says that Ren shouldn't have come out and "paraded himself around like that," which seems a bit much. Ren's still allowed to leave the boat, even if he hurt Kelsey.
Kelsey decides to stay for a couple more songs, and would you guess, it's time for a slow dance. She sees Ren out of the corner of her eye and turns to look. He's dancing with an Indian girl with a sari, and Kelsey realizes that it's....................Nilima!
I mean...I thought Nilima considered Kelsey her friend/sister. First rule of girl code--you don't express interest in your friend's ex without express consent from your friend.
This is too much for Kelsey, so she goes back to the boat and cries.
She wakes up the next morning and finds Kishan in the gym. He asks if she wants to work out with him, and she says that she has a question for him. She asks if he wants to get dinner with her tonight. That's the end of the chapter.
Closing Thoughts
Man, it's amazing how much filler changes when you really don't like the characters. The beach episode in The Last Airbender is one of my favorite episodes in the series. It's unashamedly filler (and a bit of fanservice), but I actually enjoy the characters and how they interact! Watching Azula try to flirt is funny because she's been established as a hyper-competent bad-ass. Plus we actually learn about her character through these jokes--she can't relate to other kids her age because of the pressure her family puts on her! And that's not even mentioning the incredible scene at the end where she and Zuko unload their personal insecurities, which are directly relevant to their character arcs that culminate in the series finale where they fight and GAH THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD
Anyway, the point I'm making is that filler can be good, but an important first step is having a) well-developed characters that b) are likeable.
I guess we did get something useful in this chapter--some explanation about how Kelsey's magical powers work. Even though it's directly contradicted by earlier books in the series. And only happens so that Houck can handwave away any possible drawbacks to our protagonist's abilities. And I guess Kelsey's dating Kishan now.
Next time, Chapter Twelve: Something New! Kelsey and Kishan are an item now, and we get to meet a new annoying character who does nothing but let Houck slut-shame some more.
Last time, we had a lot of actual Plot happen! Ren broke up with Kelsey because he can't
Exhausted with this massive amount of plot happening all at once, Houck made this chapter more filler. It's the obligatory Beach Episode! So, uh, more annoying relationship drama. And I was wrong about the new character showing up, sorry--that's next chapter. Whoops.
Chapter Eleven: Beach Party
It really feels like there should be an exclamation point after that chapter title.
Kelsey meets up with Wes, Ren, and Kishan to do some shark training exercises, which involves watching videos of sharks swimming around in the ocean. Wes gives some advice on how to avoid provoking sharks, including not wearing bright colors. Ren says they'll get her a plain black suit when they stop in the next town. Kelsey points out that that's what she wanted in the first place, and Ren says that it'll be good for her to wear a suit that's less ". . . enticing," ellipses and all.
Also, it's not really the color sharks are attracted to--it's the contrast in color between the water and whatever you're wearing. To the point that some divers prefer to wear blue instead of black to avoid great white sharks, since black still contrasts against the water.
But whatever. That's just me doing research.
They argue some more, and Kelsey accuses Ren of hoping she gets eaten by a shark. It goes on for way too long, and devolves into them calling each other names like actual children.
"I'd like to see you try, you hardheaded--"
Ren smiled coldly and countered, "Unbending."
"Mulish!"
"Unreasonable!"
"Bullheaded, pigheaded, tigerheaded--"
"Tigerheaded?" Wes asked in puzzlement.
Kishan just shrugged his shoulders.
Comedy?
I'm really struggling to see the point of these arguments they have. Sure, it beats them just being happy and in love for the whole series, but half the time they're played for laughs instead of any actual drama. It's like Houck is saying, "You know they're going to end up together in the end anyway, so it doesn't matter if their arguments are funny!"
Wes says that it's time for a break. Nilima brought in some juice, so he tells Ren and Kelsey to work through their drama before they reconvene. Kelsey considers throwing her juice in Ren's face, but contents herself with listening to him insult her again. He says that she makes everything so difficult, and when she disagrees, he says that this is the easier option. He also says that he's only in the same room as her because he has to learn about sharks. Kelsey says that as a predator he should already know everything there is to know about predators.
Um, Kelsey. There's an important thing you're forgetting.
TIGERS AREN'T THE SAME THING AS SHARKS (with the possible exception of tiger sharks). Hunting on land isn't the same thing as hunting in the water. And no, I don't think the whole "predator" thing is meant to be an insult, because Ren has on more than one occasion reacted to being called a "predator" by flirt-stalking Kelsey. He likes being called a predator.
"I'm easy to figure out. A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and . . . actually, no it's just those two things."
I mean...this is already a joke. It's the four Fs of survival--fighting, fleeing, feeding, and...mating. So it's not really original, now, is it?
ALSO this doesn't even make sense, because the reason he broke up with her in the first place is because he can't have sex with her. If what he's saying is true, he'd be fine staying with Kelsey!
Kelsey says that Kishan wouldn't limit himself to those two, and asks Ren why he'd want to date someone unattractive. Ren says that he didn't call her unattractive, just that he'd try to find someone prettier. He didn't say he'd be successful in finding someone prettier. Because he still loves her So Much, guys, even though he constantly tells her what to do, insults her, breaks up with her with no explanation...
They head back into class and Wes continues the lesson. He talks a lot about what to do if a shark attacks you. I don't know much about shark attacks, but I do know about what happens later on in the book. None of this is ever useful information. Yes, there is a shark attack, but it's, like, a giant magical shark, and none of the tips that Wes gives are useful.
But still, this explanation goes on for three pages.
After the lesson, Wes goes spearfishing with Ren and Kishan, leaving Mr. Kadam and Kelsey on the boat (no mention of Nilima). They figure that now is the perfect time to test how Kelsey's lightning powers work underwater, as opposed to in the privacy of their own home or before picking up a stranger for diving lessons.
Hey, where is the crew through all of this? I guess it's possible that the captain can't see this part of the boat from the wheelhouse, but I highly doubt that Kelsey or the others would deign to clean up after themselves. Where are the crew members cleaning decks, restocking that juice bar, cooking meals for them? Maintaining that fancy pool? They literally don't show up a single time in the entire book until the end. Guess they have to stay below deck like the lower class they are.
Actually, they go practice in the wet garage, which is an even worse idea, since I'm pretty sure that's how Wes, Ren, and Kishan got into the water. It sure would be awkward for them to resurface right when Kelsey's zapping stuff.
Why is everyone in this book so dumb I don't understand
Kelsey stands above the surface of the water and zaps some weighted buoys underwater. Mr. Kadam tells her that her aiming will be a little different because of the water, but she only misses once before she's a crack shot again. The buoy literally explodes underwater (sending shrapnel down to the ocean floor, and further polluting the ocean for no reason when they have a perfectly good pool on board).
Then they head to the pool, where Mr. Kadam throws some dummies into the water for Kelsey to try zapping. I'm not sure why it matters if it's a dummy or a buoy, since they're both floating targets where the only difference is the shape, but whatever. He says that he wants to see how it works here before trying it in salt water.
But--
But you were just using salt water with the buoys! That was down in the wet garage, which opens up into the ocean, which is...which is salt water...
I--
My brain hurts.
Kelsey gets into the pool and Mr. Kadam tells her to use her power gradually. Kelsey is worried that she'll get electrocuted, but fortunately Mr. Exposition has a couple of reasons why that probably won't happen. First, he replaced all of the water in the pool with low conductivity water, with all of the impurities removed. This is dumb, because he did that when they were last docked--expecting an entire pool full of water to stay pure is absurd, especially when he lists "dust" as one of the impurities that can conduct an electrical current. It's also dumb because Kelsey herself will be in the pool. You know, sweating, shedding skin cells, and adding impurities to the water that she'll be inside. So this is a terrible explanation.
Second, Mr. Kadam says that her power probably isn't lightning after all--he has a theory that it's actually a superheated stream of fire that just looks like lightning.
Huh?
Yeah, Kelsey's lightning powers look like lightning. They also behave like lightning. The following quotes are from Tiger's Quest (because she didn't actually, uh, use her lightning powers much in the first book).
A lightning bolt exploded from my hand to the body of my attacker. It lifted his body into the air and slammed him into a tree hard enough to make it shake.
Because fire is know for its ability to throw people around. I mean, technically, lightning isn't either, but electricity can jolt people around by causing their muscles to contract.
I took advantage of the distance between them, raised my hand, and hit the bear right on the nose with a small lightning jolt.
Because fire is known for its ability to "jolt" people.
Another [bird] came too close so I zapped it with a lightning bolt. The energy hit the bird on its chest and bounced off, scorching the nest not a foot from where Kishan was standing.
Because fire is known for its ability to bounce off of things.
My second arrow hit its neck and, imbued with lightning power, gave the bird a shock.
This one's perhaps the most damning, because it's pretty obvious when something is getting shocked vs. getting burned.
Energy shot out in a long white burst. First one and then the other three floodlights popped and exploded when my lightning power hit.
Because fire is known for its ability to overload electronic devices and short circuit them.
Mr. Kadam is, naturally, entirely correct. This is a stupid retcon that makes me immeasurably angry.
Kelsey tries to
The water started boiling where the stream of light entered, and the wood turned black.
This displays an astounding lack of understanding of how boiling works. Water doesn't boil until the entire body of water is hot enough to boil! Kelsey just fucking cooked herself!
Well, of course not.
They test out her powers some more with a duck in the pool. Yeah, they have a random duck lying around. No, I have no idea where they got it. I'm so angry.
She doesn't zap/burn the duck, so Mr. Kadam decides to get in the water to see how it affects other humans. Kelsey objects, saying that he's too important to risk, but Mr. Kadam points out that she's more important and that it's probably not a big deal anyway.
"Even so. Here I am. If Daffy's alright, I'll be fine too."
"Daffy?"
"Yes. Daffy Duck. I'm rather fond of Looney Tunes."
"I absolutely did not know that about you, Mr. Kadam! I would have never guessed. My father loved Coyote and Roadrunner. Okay, well, here's to hoping it's wabbit season and not duck season."
This dialogue hurts me on a spiritual level. No one talks like this.
She blasts the target and of course Mr. Kadam is fine. She tries zapping things with her hand underwater and it works perfectly, because struggling is for losers. They eventually head back to the wet garage and test it out in the ocean, and it behaves exactly the same.
"I definitely believe your power is more like fire than lightning," Mr. Kadam concluded when we had finished our session. "It reminds me of a blowtorch."
Hate. So much. Mr. Kadam packs Daffy back up into his cage to disappear from existence. Or be cooked up by the chef for their next dinner. I have no idea, he never shows up again.
So, the real question we have to ask is, what exactly is the point of retconning Kelsey's lightning powers?
Houck wants Kelsey to still be able to use her powers, so she completely retcons everything we know about them in order for her to do so. What could have been an interesting situation--where Kelsey can't use her powers and has to use actual ingenuity to solve problems--is completely ignored in favor of trying to keep things as easy as possible for the protagonist.
And, one more thing before I continue. Houck changed how Kelsey's powers work because lightning wouldn't work underwater. You know what else really doesn't work with water?
Fire.
This book is so dumb.
Everyone meets back up for dinner that night, and Kelsey refuses to eat meat for some reason. Wes says that they'll be docking in Trivandrum in a couple of days for a beach party! Wes asks if they want to go with him, and Mr. Kadam declines. Kelsey also says that she might not be up for a bikini type of party.
Wes shot me a dimpled smile. "Ah, now if I'd a had a pretty sweet young thing like you on my arm, I wouldna even notice them other gals."
Wouldna???? Is he turning Scottish now?
Kelsey says she'll let him know if she want to go with him tomorrow, and Wes kisses her hand, which makes Kishan growl. Comedy?
After dinner, Kishan walks her back to her room and they watch some dolphins. No real reason, but there's just some dolphins there.
Kishan expresses some reservations about Kelsey going to the party with Wes.
"Why on earth not?"
"I don't trust him."
We're again reiterating that Kishan doesn't trust Wes for some reason. Hmm.
Actually, he says it's because it's "too free with his compliments" to Kelsey, which makes him "slippery" and one of those men who likes to take advantage of people.
This is so intensely hypocritical I don't even know what to say about it. Kishan and Ren both constantly shower Kelsey with compliments and have each coerced Kelsey into given them kisses--Ren at the end of the first book, where he refused to leave Kishkindha until Kelsey gave him a real kiss, and Kishan's nickname is the fucking "Kissing Bandit." I guess it's okay when Ren and Kishan do it, but not anyone else?
Kelsey doesn't point this out, and instead is annoyed that Kishan thinks she's vulnerable. He points out that she just got out of a bad breakup and that makes her vulnerable. When she tells him she's going to move on no matter what, he asks her to go with him to the party instead. She immediately refuses because it feels like too much of a real date, and covers her ass by saying that since Wes asked first it would be rude to go with Kishan. He buys it and says that he'll be there anyway just in case anything happens.
Scene break! The next morning Kelsey hears movement in the adjoining door, so she knocks, thinking it's Ren. It's actually Kishan, who's in the middle of getting changed, which allows Kelsey to ogle his pecs. It turns out Kishan and Ren traded rooms. They spend the rest of the day hanging out and doing nothing productive, like riding the Jet Ski around.
Once they dock, Kelsey spends some time researching the weapons with Mr. Kadam until it's time for the party. The trident symbolizes Shiva and his three roles--creator, preserver, and destroyer--along with other stuff. It's not important what other stuff, because none of it actually comes back in a thematic way, which makes it pointless. Or a way for Houck to show off that she did research again.
Then it's time to get ready for the party!!! Nilima makes Kelsey an outfit with the Scarf (no word on whether Kelsey thanks her for that), and says she might stop by later. She puts on the new dress (which is very Pretty), and Wes literally whistles at her as she gets off the boat. Kelsey sees that she's overdressed compared to Wes's board shorts, and complains that she's used to wearing fancy stuff because of Ren and Kishan. Wes blocks her and says that she looks great and wants to show her off. Kelsey deflects by saying she's not wearing a bikini so people probably won't notice.
"There's a big difference between crass and class, sweetheart. And you are 100 percent class. Any feller with any sense would see I got a gem on my arm."
Ah, so every girl who's wearing a bikini is "crass" for...revealing her body? In a swimsuit? On the beach? I hate this.
They join the group of people dancing on the beach and it's a lot of fun. A bit bland, but described better than all of the diving nonsense.
The music almost made me feel like I was an Indian goddess sinuously moving my many limbs or a gypsy girl wearing a tinkling costume.
Eek. This is another example of the setting just being used to be "exotic" which is...troubling. Especially when Kelsey starts talking about gypsies (???) for absolutely no reason.
She has fun dancing with Wes, who distracts her from thoughts of Ren. They eventually stop and go to the buffet, which is described in exactly the same clinical way every other meal is--a dispassionate list of different dishes that goes on for much too long.
They dance and get some ice cream, and Kelsey feels comforted that Kishan is there watching over her. She's a bit disturbed about how good it feels to have Kishan standing guard, so she dances some more to put it out of her mind.
Later, she spots Ren, who's surrounded by a group of beautiful women. Kelsey immediately slut-shames them by pointing out that they're all scantily-clad, which obviously reflects on their moral character. Also, they're flirting outrageously with Ren. It's okay for men to flirt with Kelsey, but women aren't allowed to flirt with men. Ick.
There was a blonde, a brunette, a redhead. Tall girls, petite girls, long haired, short haired. I couldn't stop staring as the girls gyrated around him, jockeying for his attention while trying to snuff out the competition. A tall, tan blonde leaned closer to say something to him; he wrapped an arm around her waist and laughed, his white smile dazzling. She reached up to brush the hair out of his eyes, and my pulse slammed. Blood pounded through me. The air became thick. I couldn't breathe. I took deep gulps trying to prevent myself from throwing up.
It's okay when multiple men fawn over Kelsey, jockeying for attention by threatening to kill each other. It's okay for Kelsey to show interest in one of the men vying for her attention. But the minute other girls do the same thing, it's Wrong and Bad and they're all sluts.
I fucking hate this book.
Wes sees it too, and tells her it's time to go and that she doesn't have to watch those she-beasts daring to flirt with a single man. Kelsey thinks about using her lightning power to "blast the head off of every single girl who'd touched him," which is incredibly psychopathic and worrying.
She sees Kishan hanging at the end of the crowd and feels comforted, and thinks about her mom giving her advice to date someone she can rely on. She thinks that Kishan never pushed her into doing anything she wasn't comfortable with. The entire second book where they constantly argued about why she should date him begs to differ.
(He's still better than Ren, though.)
There's a nice moment where they lock eyes and he gives her a look, asking if she needs him to come help, and she shakes her head slightly. Wes says that Ren shouldn't have come out and "paraded himself around like that," which seems a bit much. Ren's still allowed to leave the boat, even if he hurt Kelsey.
Kelsey decides to stay for a couple more songs, and would you guess, it's time for a slow dance. She sees Ren out of the corner of her eye and turns to look. He's dancing with an Indian girl with a sari, and Kelsey realizes that it's....................Nilima!
I mean...I thought Nilima considered Kelsey her friend/sister. First rule of girl code--you don't express interest in your friend's ex without express consent from your friend.
This is too much for Kelsey, so she goes back to the boat and cries.
She wakes up the next morning and finds Kishan in the gym. He asks if she wants to work out with him, and she says that she has a question for him. She asks if he wants to get dinner with her tonight. That's the end of the chapter.
Closing Thoughts
Man, it's amazing how much filler changes when you really don't like the characters. The beach episode in The Last Airbender is one of my favorite episodes in the series. It's unashamedly filler (and a bit of fanservice), but I actually enjoy the characters and how they interact! Watching Azula try to flirt is funny because she's been established as a hyper-competent bad-ass. Plus we actually learn about her character through these jokes--she can't relate to other kids her age because of the pressure her family puts on her! And that's not even mentioning the incredible scene at the end where she and Zuko unload their personal insecurities, which are directly relevant to their character arcs that culminate in the series finale where they fight and GAH THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD
Anyway, the point I'm making is that filler can be good, but an important first step is having a) well-developed characters that b) are likeable.
I guess we did get something useful in this chapter--some explanation about how Kelsey's magical powers work. Even though it's directly contradicted by earlier books in the series. And only happens so that Houck can handwave away any possible drawbacks to our protagonist's abilities. And I guess Kelsey's dating Kishan now.
Next time, Chapter Twelve: Something New! Kelsey and Kishan are an item now, and we get to meet a new annoying character who does nothing but let Houck slut-shame some more.
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