Chapter 21: Kishkindha
Last time, Kelsey and Ren walked through the-land-surrounding-Kishkindha-that-isn't-called-Kishkindha, and then found Kishkindha. They battled some evil tree tentacles, found their way through the tunnels of mist and illusion, and walked next to some kappas (even though they're water monkeys, not kappas). Then, as soon as they actually got to Kishkindha, the chapter ended.
It sounds more exciting that what actually happened, although I did almost like the tunnel scene.
This time: petty arguing!
Yippee.
Chapter Twenty-One: Kishkindha
We're at the 70% mark, by the way. I can taste the end.
We moved past the giant needle tree's reach and stared at the city. It was actually more the size of a medieval castle than a city. The river ran down to its wall and split into two directions, circling it like a moat. The walls were built of light gray stone tinged with blue flecks of mica, giving it a sparkling smoky periwinkle color.
God, it's like I'm there.
Also, I'm not actually sure how far they are from the city itself. Based on the last chapter, it seemed like it was pretty far, since the entire thing was completely hidden by a single tree (which was pretty big, to be fair). That makes it sound like it's still pretty far away. Plus the description Kelsey just gave makes it sound like almost a bird's eye view. But Kelsey has good enough eyesight to pick out the mica in the city walls. What?
Ren says that they should set up camp and enter the city tomorrow, because this story has no stakes or ticking clock. Kelsey agrees and makes dinner while Ren does the manly job and gets firewood. It's freeze-dried pasta, if you're curious (I'm not). After they're all set up, Kelsey asks Ren if he thinks the Kappa will come after them while they're asleep. He says probably not, and they're scared of fire anyway. I'm not sure if that's true because I don't remember if it was mentioned in the research I did last time. (I do remember the fart picture though. Hee hee.)
Kelsey insists that someone should stand watch anyway, which is honestly a good idea. Because they have no idea what else is in here with them. Who says the prophecy mentioned everything they'd see? (I mean, it did, but whatever).
The needle trees burn with a weird greenish-orange flame, which I like! They're magical trees inside of a fantasy environment, so it makes sense that they'd burn differently.
Ren argues and says that he should be the first person to stand watch because the quest is harder on Kelsey than it is on him, since he's immortal and heals quickly and everything.
"You're the one getting all scratched up. I just follow along behind."
It's like this book is mocking me. I've been saying this the whole time--Kelsey doesn't do anything! And now she's becoming self aware and pointing this out.
Ren says that he'll watch for a while, and if nothing happens, they'll both sleep. Kelsey still doesn't think it's a great idea. I'm still with Kelsey on this one, for once.
What happens next is...troubling.
So, Ren grabs onto her hand and Kelsey thinks about how hot he is. Kelsey mentions how she's more used to dealing with him as a tiger because she doesn't have to deal with them arguing about things. This is a fair point (and one that I've been harping about for a while, since they haven't had a ton of character interaction even this far into the book), and she specifically says that he doesn't argue with her when he's a tiger.
He smiled an amazingly white smile and stroked the inside of my arm. "Your skin here is so soft."
He leaned over to nuzzle my ear. My blood started pounding thickly and fogged my brain. "Kells, tell me you agree with my plan."
He knows that Kelsey's brain basically short circuits whenever he touches her, and he's using this intentionally to make her agree with him. That's pretty manipulative. Oh, he claims he doesn't have any idea that he knows this happens, but I don't see how he wouldn't.
I shook myself free from the spellbinding fog and set my jaw stubbornly. "Fine. You win. Even though you are coercing me."
So, she's stubborn, but she's also agreeing with him? That doesn't make sense.
He laughted and moved to look at me. "And how exactly am I coercing you?"
He sees that she's upset and then laughs because he thinks it's funny.
"Well, first of all, you can't expect me to have coherent thoughts when you're touching me. Second, you always know how to get your way with me."
That's...kind of horrifying.
"Is that right?"
"Sure. All you have to do is bat your eyes, or in your case smile and ask nicely, throw in a distracting touch, and then, before I know it, you get whatever it is you want."
Yeah, hi, this is a really unhealthy relationship.
"Really?" he teased quietly. "I had no idea I had that effect on you."
Yeah, based on how this is written, he definitely knows. Creep.
He rubs his fingers over her jaw and her neck (!) and "threatens playfully"that he'll "have to use it more to [his] advantage in the future."
I would like to call the police.
Kelsey starts quivering, which makes Ren seem even more pleased with himself (!). Why is he acting like a serial killer all of a sudden? I'm creeped out.
Kelsey touches the Matt Damon amulet and thinks about Kishan.
Briefly, I though about Kishan and how formidable he appeared on the surface. Inside, he was as harmless as a kitten. The dangerous brother was Ren. Innocent though the blue-eyed tiger appeared to be, he was a compelling predator. Utterly irresistible--like a Venus flytrap. So alluring, so tempting, so deadly. Everything he did was seductive and quite possibly hazardous to my heart.
I wouldn't really consider a Venus flytrap to be particularly irresistible. They're cool plants, but it's a weird comparison. Also, where is all of this coming from? Kelsey hasn't had any of these thoughts before this, and she's spent a decent amount of time with him as a human before this.
So...was this the point of the whole butterfly thing from all those chapters ago? Here's that exchange from all the way back in Chapter 13:
Ren came up and nudged a butterfly from my arm to his finger. "These are called crow butterflies, and the other tigers are called blue tigers. The blue tigers are brighter and easier to spot, so they live with the crows for camouflage."
"Camouflage? Why do they need it?"
"The crows are inedible. In fact, they're poisonous, so other butterflies try to mimic them to fool predators."
They're similar enough that I think they're trying to be about the same thing, but it's backwards and as a result makes no sense. Kelsey is saying that Ren is camouflaging himself to be harmless, but he's actually dangerous. The blue tiger butterflies are harmless but they're camouflaging themselves to look dangerous. Which is what Kishan is doing, according to Kelsey. But the butterflies are called "blue tigers" and can only be referring to Ren.
So, yeah, the butterfly thing ended up being pointless because it makes no sense.
He seemed much more intimidating to me than Kishan with his flirty and blatant comments.
Whose flirty and blatant comments? The way this is written, it can apply to either of them. Context doesn't help either, because both of them are blatantly flirtatious. They act exactly the same way.
Kishan was equal to Ren in many ways. In that regard, I could understand Yesubai's choice, but what made Ren 100 percent more dangerous to me was that I had feelings for him--strong ones. I already loved the tiger part of him before I knew he was a man. That bond made caring for the man that much easier.
I legitimately have no idea what Kelsey is trying to say here. None of these things are related to each other. Why does Ren and Kishan being equal mean that Kelsey understands Yesubai's choice? Why does what Yesubai chose have any effect on how dangerous Ren is to Kelsey (they're presented like they're related because there's a "but" in there)? So Kelsey was in love with a tiger? That's what it sounds like.
I mean, this is just here for angst. It's the point in the story where the romantic leads are arguing with each other and we're supposed to wonder if they'll end up together in the end. But in a story that makes sense, this usually happens after something actually happens, you know? Something makes them question their relationship. Here, Kelsey just starts angsting out of nowhere because, well, that's what's supposed to happen. But we're not given a reason for it to be happening.
But being with the man was so much more complicated than being with the tiger. I had to constantly remind myself that they were two sides of the same coin--literally heads and tails.
Um...she is aware that tigers also have heads, right?
There were so many reasons why I should let myself fall completely for Ren. There was a definite connection between us.
What "connection" is there other than being physically attracted to each other? And the whole vague "Chosen One" stuff?
I was undeniably attracted to him.
Which we know already, because you keep drooling whenever you think about him.
We had a lot in common.
Yeah. You're an eighteen-year-old American teenager from Oregon, and he's a three-hundred-and-fifty-year-old Indian prince. I'm not saying that they wouldn't be able to have a genuine connection, but you have almost nothing in common, with the exception of liking poetry.
I enjoyed my time with him.
You were literally just complaining about how hard it is to spend time with him when he's a human at the beginning of this paragraph.
I liked talking to him and listening to his voice.
No mention of listening to what he says to her. Which is kind of funny.
And, I felt like I could tell him anything.
Except for asking him about Yesubai. Just because Houck forgets about these things doesn't mean I have to. You have very pointedly not talked about Yesubai because you don't want him to think about her. That doesn't sound like "telling him everything" to me.
But, there were so many reasons for me to be cautious. Our relationship felt so complex.
It's really not. He's got sculpted pecs and you like that.
Everything had happened so fast.
That's something I agree with.
I felt overwhelmed by him.
The fact that your brain shuts off every time he touches you isn't normal.
We were from different cultures. Different countries. Different centuries. Until now, we were even from different species for most of each day
I thought you just said you had a lot in common?
Sorry to go line by line through this stuff. It just makes no sense to me. Okay, last lengthy quote from this stupid section. No, I don't know why it's italicized.
Falling for him would be like cliff diving. It would either be the most exhilarating thing that ever happened to me or the stupidest mistake I'd ever make. It would make my life worth living or it would crush me against stony rocks and break me utterly. Perhaps the wise thing to do would be to slow things down. Being friends would be so much simpler.
Yeah, if your protagonist is analogizing falling in love with your love interest with jumping off a cliff and dying, that doesn't sound like a great relationship, Houck.
Also, I'm annoyed that "falling in love with a guy" is supposed to be the best thing that could ever happen to you. I know this is trashy YA paranormal romance, but that's kind of a terrible message to be sending to your chief demographic, i.e., young teenage girls.
Anyway, moving on. Ren comes back after getting more firewood and asks what she's thinking about. Kelsey brushes him off, despite just saying that she can tell him anything. He doesn't pressure her to answer, so Kelsey adds it to her "pros" list. Isn't this a plot in Friends? I haven't seen Friends.
Ren says he'll take the first watch even though it probably won't be necessary. She gives a curt answer, and Ren asks if she's alright. I'd be pretty confused too, since this is really coming out of nowhere.
I mentally shook myself. Sheesh! I needed a cold shower!
That is not something I expected to read in this book, which has been pretty solidly PG for the most part. She then compares him to a drug, which is recycled from Twilight, but Kelsey actually feels like this is a bad thing, so I guess it's okay.
Kelsey makes a reference to Spider-man, which Ren doesn't get, and he says he'll keep watch for a few hours.
"Then, if nothing happens," he said with a grin, "I'll join you."
I froze and suddenly became very nervous. Surely, he didn't mean what it sounded like.
Uh, he's done this before, remember Kelsey? He slept in your hotel room for a few nights. Yeah, he was a tiger for most of it, but the parts you described in the narration were when he was a dude. This isn't like Ren's coming out of nowhere. He's been very up-front about his intentions.
Kelsey moves to the other side of the fire while Ren keeps watch. She asks where he thinks they are, which would have been a good question to ask last chapter instead of getting lectured about kappas. The sky looks weird and Ren says it feels like they're underground. You...you guys remember that you walked down a staircase to get here, right?
Kelsey is having trouble getting to sleep, and she tells Ren that she's used to having a tiger pillow. Ren offers to help her out, and Kelsey tells him that she's fine. He ignores her and picks her up (nice), and holds onto her.
She tells him that she's having trouble relaxing, and he asks her why she's having so much trouble since it never bothered her when he was a tiger. Um. This isn't the first time this has happened, Houck. Chapter 17:
I felt safe snuggled in his arms and enjoyed listening to the warm timbre of his voice as he spoke quietly. Later, he began humming softly, and I felt the strong beat of his heart keeping rhythm against my cheek.
She didn't have any problem a few chapters ago! I still have no idea what changed her mind!
He tells her that he likes the smell of her hair and starts purring. Kelsey asks him to stop and he asks why, since she never minded it when he was a tiger. Yeah, I have the same question, buddy.
I twitched and shivered, with nerves, or anticipation, or something else, and he noticed. He stopped kissing my neck and lifted his head to peer at my face in the flickering firelight. His voice was solemn and calm, "Kelsey, I hope you know that I would never hurt you. You don't need to be afraid of me."
That's not how dialogue tags work. I think you're missing a "said" in there.
Also, is it concerning that Ren's first thought upon noticing that Kelsey is uncomfortable to tell her that he's not going to harm her? Maybe a little bit. Because of the implication.
Nah, I actually think Ren's being pretty considerate here, as he's trying to make Kelsey feel better. Kelsey is the one in the wrong here, because her attitude toward him has done a complete 180, and she won't communicate with him at all. Although, to be fair, the last time they argued they never actually talked through it either, so this is pretty on trend.
Kelsey does actually say that she's not afraid, but she's never been close to someone like this. Ren says that he hasn't either. I'd find this a bit more believable if he wasn't so suave and practiced in getting Kelsey to agree to stuff through seduction, but okay.
He shifted, lying down again. "Now, turn around and go to sleep. I'm warning you that I plan to sleep with you in my arms all night long. Who knows when, or if, I'll ever get to do it again. So try to relax, and for heaven's sake, don't wiggle!"
What even is this dialogue. Also, now I'm annoyed with Ren because Kelsey very clearly doesn't want to do this because he's moving really fast, and he just bullies her into doing something she isn't comfortable with.
So, they kind of both suck.
She does end up sleeping really well, so I guess Kelsey doesn't know what she wants.
She wakes up the next morning in his arms, and he's still asleep, so she stares at him for a while. She waxes poetic about how "utterly kissable" his lips are and about how long his eyelashes are.
He looked like an archangel who fell to the earth.
Um, you do know what fallen angels are, don't you? Also, please don't bring Christian theology into this, as it's making me repeat my complaint that you apparently grew up religious and then didn't question anything when you found out that Hindu gods physically exist.
She tries to get up, and Ren says, "Don't you even think about moving." Which would be fine if Kelsey was fully into this whole situation, but it seems like she isn't, so it's weird.
I bit my lip. Alarm bells started going off in my head.
Where has this Kelsey been this whole time?
He nuzzled my neck, and an image came to my mind of him beckoning me to jump off a cliff and then laughing as my body broke on the wet rocks below.
Yeah, this shouldn't be the image a protagonist sees when she thinks about her love interest. Even if they're not getting along very well at the moment, she shouldn't see a picture of him murdering her like what the fuck.
Kelsey tells herself to stop thinking about him and focus on the reason they're there in the first place--getting the Golden Fruit. She then...does nothing but think about him for the next page and a half.
Sorry for going line by line again, but seriously, this stuff makes no sense.
He'd probably fall in love with any girl who was destined to save him.
You've already had this conversation. Chapter 10:
"And if I had the option of choosing the girl to save me, I'd still have picked you [over Cathleen]."
"Why?"
"A number of reasons. I liked you. You are interesting. I enjoyed listening to your voice. I felt like you saw through the tiger skin to the person underneath. When you spoke, it felt like you were saying exactly the things I needed to hear. You're smart. You like poetry, and you're very pretty."
So, no.
Plus, there's no way a guy like him would ever be attracted to a girl like me.
See the above quote from chapter 10. Also, Kishan also immediately started calling you beautiful (not the mention the three other guys wrapped around her finger in the next book) so in addition to the personality reasons she's apparently quite a looker.
Ren was like Superman, and I had to grudgingly admit that I was no Lois Lane.
I thought that the whole point of Lois Lane was that she was a normal person, and that Superman was able to fall in love with her in spite of and, to be honest, because of that? She's his link to the world and everything, you know? So, uh, you kind of are Lois Lane in this scenario.
When the curse is broken, he'll probably want to date supermodels.
Where is she getting this idea from? A lot of the interaction they've had that I've actually liked has been them bonding over poetry and plays and stuff like that. Not that a supermodel wouldn't also be into that, but you both already have that as a basis for your relationship.
Also, I'm the first girl he's been around in more than three hundred years, give or take--and although the timeline is a bit different, he's the first man I've ever felt anything for.
Um, those statements aren't related, and I don't really know what the timeline has to do with you feeling anything for him.
Also, Nilima. Cathleen. Literally any other female humans that he's come into contact with since he's been in circuses for three hundred or so years. You're the first one to actually be special enough to do anything.
If I let myself dream about having forever with him when this is all over, I'm sure to be disappointed.
For the reasons stated above, this is dumb.
I also have no idea why all of that was italicized.
She thinks about how she's excited and scared because she's never had a boyfriend before. Which is the first thing she's said that actually makes sense.
She ultimately decides that she's going to choose not to be with Ren, help him out through Kishkindha, and then they can part ways.
Does she handle this maturely and communicate with Ren about her decision? Of course not! As they're walking toward Kishkinda (which takes a while, meaning that there is absolutely no way that Kelsey should have been able to tell the makeup of the rocks making up the walls), every time Ren tries to be nice to her, she pulls her hands away from his, and doesn't let him touch her at all.
I didn't say anything or offer any explanations because I couldn't think of a way to broach the subject.
Yeah, so you have no right to get mad at him when he gets frustrated with how you're acting later.
It didn't take him long to stop trying, and I felt a wall as big as the Great Wall of China go up between us.
"I felt a wall as big as a really big wall go up between us."
They get to the moat, and there's a drawbridge, but it's closed. Apparently when Kelsey described the city as being the size of a medieval castle, she actually meant that it looks like an actual medieval castle, which would have been nice to know when you described it the first time. There are a lot of kappa in the river, so Kelsey suggests using a log as a bridge. Ren physically spins her around (rude) and takes out the gada. She asks if there's anything she can do to help and Ren angrily says that she can't because they only have one gada.
Even though I already knew the answer, I asked, "Ren, why are you angry? Is something bothering you?" I grimaced, knowing that it was me that was bothering him.
Wow, rubbing salt in the wound there. Seriously, that's actually cruel, Kelsey. You're making me feel bad for Ren, Kelsey.
Ren says that nothing is bothering him, because communication is for chumps.
His biceps bulged as he walked the trunk to the edge of the creek.
A girl can still admire, can't she? Even those who can't afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right?
Kelsey is such a hypocrite.
It was like watching Hercules in action. I sucked in an appreciative breath and had to keep repeating the words, "He's not for me, he's not for me, he's not for me," to strengthen my resolve.
But why? It's like Houck realized that they're relationship was boring and then tried to cram in half a book of character development into a single chapter. None of this makes any sense!
Ren turns back into a tiger and jumps up to the drawbridge, pulling it down over the river. The inside of the city is made out of the same rock as the walls, and Kelsey repeats almost exactly the same description from the beginning of the chapter, so it makes more sense to get the mineral makeup of the stones here. Since she's close enough to, you know, see them.
There's a giant statue of Hanuman, and everything is covered with monkey statues. I'm not sure why this isn't the first thing that gets described, because I think I'd notice that before the periwinkle-colored mica.
In fact, the only kind of monkeys not included were the fictitious flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and King Kong.
Hey, I already made that reference! Also, you said one "kind" of monkey and then listed two, since the flying monkeys and King Kong are not the same kind of monkey. Also, King Kong isn't a monkey, he's an ape.
Fanindra comes alive and slithers off of Kelsey's arm and starts leading them somewhere. Ren stays a tiger and Kelsey calls him out on it, and says that he shouldn't waste the time he has as a dude. He changes back and immediately says that he's angry because she seems to like him better as a tiger than as a human. Kelsey tries to deflect by saying that it's complicated, so he asks if he's moving too fast for her.
"No. It's not that. It's just," I wrung my hands, "I don't want to make a mistake or get involved in something that will lead to one or both of us getting hurt, and I really don't think this is the best place to talk about this."
Which, again, would be fine if there was any buildup to this at all.
Eventually, Fanindra takes them to a reflecting pool full of water. There are four statues of monkeys around it. The narration makes a point of saying that all of them have tails curled over their bodies. I only bring this up because one of them is a chimpanzee, and chimpanzees don't have tails.
There's an inscription on the pool that says Niyuj Kapi or "choose the monkey." I can't find a translation for "niyuj," but it looks like "kapi" translates roughly to ape or monkey, and more specifically to baboon.
Two of the monkeys aren't native to India (the spider monkey and the chimpanzee) so they rule those out.
This one is a chimpanzee, which is technically an ape, not a monkey. They're often classified as a monkey because of their size.
I have heard exactly zero people classify a chimpanzee as a monkey, because they don't have tails. Also, monkeys tend to be on the smaller side, and chimpanzees are pretty big! I mean, they're not as big as the other great apes, but they're not tiny.
They argue some more. It's very tedious.
"I'm not avoiding you. I just need some space. It has nothing to do with your species. It has to do with other things."
"What other things?"
"Nothing."
"It's something."
"It can't be anything."
"What can't be anything?"
"Can we just get back to the monkeys?" I yelled.
"Fine!" he hollered back.
It's pretty much the most cliched arguing ever. Ren's acting pretty much in character (remember how petty he was when they were arguing about Kishan), but while Kelsey's been written as stubborn up until this point, she's never come across like this before. Because now she's coming across as downright rude and spiteful:
Before I could stop myself, I shot out a sarcastic, "I had had no idea that I was walking with a monkey expert, but, then again, you have eaten them right? So I guess that would be the difference between say, pork and chicken, to someone like me."
So many things. "I had no idea that I was walking with a monkey expert" is a thing that exactly zero people would ever say over "I had no idea you were such a monkey expert." I have no idea what's sarcastic about that statement, either. And the difference between two species of monkey is not going to be the same as the difference between a bird and a mammal. And what happened to Kelsey being supposedly really empathetic? Everyone else constantly says that she's really in tune with other people's emotions and stuff, but now she can't clue into the fact that Ren doesn't want to be reminded that he's a tiger and, uh, cursed, which he's made very clear before this.
Ren scowled at me. "I lived in zoos and circuses for centuries, remember? And I don't . . . eat . . . monkeys!"
That's phrased like it's supposed to be a joke, but it's not funny. There's no punchline, for one thing, and it's based on centuries of suffering in zoos and circuses, so it's not like the circumstances are all that funny, either.
The other two monkeys are a macaque and a baboon, both native to India. Well, they're native to a lot of places, but they also live in India. Kelsey picks the baboon because it looks the most like Hanuman (which I spoiled because the instructions said to choose the baboon, and were just mistranslated). They play around with the statue to figure out what to do with it (while arguing the entire time), and it twists around to reveal a box with a lever. When Kelsey touches the lever, her hand starts glowing again and the lever moves.
The pool splits in half, and a tree starts growing. It has golden leaves that glow.
It was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen.
Ren took my hand and led me cautiously toward the tree. He stretched out a hand to finger a golden leaf.
"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed.
Holy redundancy, Batman!
The tree turns out to be a mango tree. Ren picks a flower off to put behind Kelsey's ear and she pretends she doesn't see, so he drops it, because Forced Romantic Tension.
They see a golden fruit hanging up on the top branch. This reminds me of the ending of the tutorial in Okami where you have to sever the peach from the top of Sakuya's tree:
"A mango fruit," he mumbled. "Of course. It makes sense."
"Why?"
"Mangoes are one of the main exports of India. It's a staple for our country. It's possible that it's the most important natural resource that we have. So the Golden Fruit is a mango. I should have guessed it before."
Yeah, so why didn't Mr. Kadam guess this before? If it's so important to your culture as a whole, you'd think he would have brought it up instead of saying "lol I dunno what it is."
Also, yeah, more exposition during the climax (?) of the novel. Nice.
Ren tells Kelsey to climb up on his shoulders to get it (which is why they should have gotten the Power Slash technique at the shrine to Nagi). Kelsey says that he should just turn into a tiger to get it, but then Ren touches her nose and tells her that she's going to do what he says. For Reasons, I guess. Hey, at least Kelsey's actually doing something now.
She complains the whole time, but it never actually tells us what she says, which I am eternally grateful for. She reaches up and grabs onto a branch above her, but she's still a foot or two away from the fruit. Ren pulls her shoes off and tells her to stand on his hands and he'll lift her up.
I hissed, "Ren are you crazy? I'm too heavy for you."
Yeah, you just watched him single-handedly lift a giant tree trunk to lay down across a river. You're fine.
Oh, throughout all of this, Ren's dialogue tags have become pretty negative. He brags, he scoffs drolly, etc. This is supposed to be a reflection of Kelsey trying not to be into him anymore, but they're not...wrong. It's just that now we have a more objective view of how Ren acts, and he's kind of obnoxious.
The fruit is hanging from a branch that tries to swing the fruit away from Kelsey, and when she catches it, it's surprisingly strong. She pulls the fruit off eventually.
And now...it's time! It's time for the antagonist to show up!! He's actually here!!!
All at once, my body iced over and became rigid, and my mind was carried away in a black vision. A burning heat seared my chest, and I stood in complete darkness. A ghostly figure started making its way toward me.
Yes! Yes! Stuff is happening!
The misty features swirled around a shape and solidified into a form. It was Mr. Kadam! He was clutching at his chest. When he removed his hand, I saw that his amulet was glowing red hot.
Well, I mean, it's Mr. Kadam, but something's happening to him! Oh, no!
I looked down and saw that mine, too, glowed in the same manner.
And whatever's happening to Mr. Kadam is also happening to Kelsey! Wow, this sure is mysterious! And stuff is finally happen that isn't in the protagonists' complete control, so it's actually interesting!
Another guy walks up to Mr. Kadam, and he's also holding a Matt Damon amulet.
The man was dressed in expensive, modern clothing. His quick eyes showed intelligence, confidence, determination, and something else, something dark, something . . . evil.
WE HAVE AN ANTAGONIST, EVERYBODY!
We are at the 75% mark, by the way. Which is not great. But still! He's campy and pure evil incarnate, but he's here!
He looks over to Kelsey and sees her Matt Damon amulet.
Gleaming malice and loathsome delight swept over his face.
I mean, we still don't know why he wants these things. But I'm still happy he's here.
Kelsey sees him start to mutter something, and Mr. Kadam and herself start to dissolve into mist.
I couldn't stand anymore. I fell down . . . down . . . down.
And the chapter ends.
Closing Thoughts
WE HAVE AN ANTAGONIST, BABY!
I mean, ideally antagonists should be introduced near the beginning of the story and not 3/4 of the way through, and we should have a bit of an idea of what it is they want and why they want it. Their actions should be the driving force behind all of the stuff our protagonists have to face. Or at least stand in their way at all. Because based on this it doesn't look like he actually knew that Kelsey existed until now. But still!!!
The bigger problem in this chapter is the complete 180 that Kelsey took regarding Ren. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any conflict, but we shouldn't transfer from "everything is fine" to "we're arguing about every little thing" in one chapter. It feels sudden and out of character for both of them.
This is probably a holdover from when this was a self-published ebook. It feels very fanfiction in both character interaction and weird pacing.
I'm also not sure how much we're supposed to believe Kelsey here. Is this an unreliable narrator situation, where we're supposed to think that Kelsey is being irrational? Or are we supposed to sympathize with her being afraid of being in a relationship, since that's an actual established character trait? The way it's written, it hovers somewhere in between these two. Either way on its own could work if it was set up properly, but trying to mix the two makes neither work very well.
And we've officially gotten through the prophecy! Let's look at it again really quick:
For protection, seek her temple
And take hold of Durga's blessing.
Pretty straightforward. Although I'm not sure what "protection" was afforded by receiving her blessing, unless the gada is considered a blessing. It seems like more of a gift to me, but whatever.
Travel west and seek Kishkindha,
Where simians rule the ground.
Well, they found Kishkindha, but there weren't really any monkeys.Kappa water monkeys, sure, but they stayed in the water the whole time.
(We'll find out what this means in the next chapter. Spoiler, evil monkeys that show up out of nowhere. Where have they been up until now? Don't worry about it.)
Gada strike in Hanuman's realm;
And hunt the branch that's bound.
Is...is the branch that's bound just the hard to break twig the Golden Fruit was hanging off of? It's not like it played a role in the quest or anything.
Thorny dangers grasp above;
Dazzling dangers lie below.
The thorny dangers were the trees, but they weren't really "above" since the leaves hung down at person height. The dazzling dangers didn't play any role, because they knew automatically not to pick up the jewels. The kappa didn't do anything. They do in the next chapter, but it's not because of the jewels in the river.
Unless it's talking about the tunnels, but that's already covered by the "lurid phantoms" stuff, and I wouldn't call them particularly "dazzling."
Strangle, ensnare, the ones you love--
And trap in brackish undertow.
"Brackish" means that the water is salty, and this is a freshwater river. Also, in the next chapter the kappas don't try to drown them, they just try to suck their blood (spoilers again, sorry).
Lurid phantoms thwart your route
And guardians wait to block your way.
The lurid phantoms happened, sure, but the way the prophecy is phrased makes it sound like they would succeed in thwarting them. Also, there weren't any guardians waiting to block their way.
Beware once they begin pursuit
Or embrace their moldering decay.
This makes it sound like there were mummies or zombies in an earlier draft that tried to stop them from getting to the fruit. Also, what use are guardians that only start chasing you after you get the thing they're trying to protect in the first place?
But all of this you can refute
If serpents find forbidden fruit
But wait, that's not how the serpents worked. They found out that the word "serpents" didn't apply to Fanindra because it's plural. That's how they found the entrance to Kishkindha. Those serpents didn't do anything to help find the fruit except getting them into the magical realm in the first place. And the way this is phrased makes it sound like none of this would happen if they managed to find the fruit. But finding the fruit is what caused this in the first place.
This is making my brain hurt.
And India's hunger satisfy . . .
Lest all her people surely die.
I've already spoken at length about why this doesn't make sense. Suffice it to say that once they start using the Golden Fruit, they don't use it for the good of the people.
So yeah, I was right when I said that the prophecy didn't make sense, and that some of it never happens to begin with.
I hate this book.
Next time, Chapter 22: Escape! Kelsey and Ren leave Kishkindha. They're back to normal without any arguing, too, with no explanation. So all of the arguing this chapter was pointless. Awesome.
It sounds more exciting that what actually happened, although I did almost like the tunnel scene.
This time: petty arguing!
Yippee.
Chapter Twenty-One: Kishkindha
We're at the 70% mark, by the way. I can taste the end.
We moved past the giant needle tree's reach and stared at the city. It was actually more the size of a medieval castle than a city. The river ran down to its wall and split into two directions, circling it like a moat. The walls were built of light gray stone tinged with blue flecks of mica, giving it a sparkling smoky periwinkle color.
God, it's like I'm there.
Also, I'm not actually sure how far they are from the city itself. Based on the last chapter, it seemed like it was pretty far, since the entire thing was completely hidden by a single tree (which was pretty big, to be fair). That makes it sound like it's still pretty far away. Plus the description Kelsey just gave makes it sound like almost a bird's eye view. But Kelsey has good enough eyesight to pick out the mica in the city walls. What?
Ren says that they should set up camp and enter the city tomorrow, because this story has no stakes or ticking clock. Kelsey agrees and makes dinner while Ren does the manly job and gets firewood. It's freeze-dried pasta, if you're curious (I'm not). After they're all set up, Kelsey asks Ren if he thinks the Kappa will come after them while they're asleep. He says probably not, and they're scared of fire anyway. I'm not sure if that's true because I don't remember if it was mentioned in the research I did last time. (I do remember the fart picture though. Hee hee.)
Kelsey insists that someone should stand watch anyway, which is honestly a good idea. Because they have no idea what else is in here with them. Who says the prophecy mentioned everything they'd see? (I mean, it did, but whatever).
The needle trees burn with a weird greenish-orange flame, which I like! They're magical trees inside of a fantasy environment, so it makes sense that they'd burn differently.
Ren argues and says that he should be the first person to stand watch because the quest is harder on Kelsey than it is on him, since he's immortal and heals quickly and everything.
"You're the one getting all scratched up. I just follow along behind."
It's like this book is mocking me. I've been saying this the whole time--Kelsey doesn't do anything! And now she's becoming self aware and pointing this out.
Ren says that he'll watch for a while, and if nothing happens, they'll both sleep. Kelsey still doesn't think it's a great idea. I'm still with Kelsey on this one, for once.
What happens next is...troubling.
So, Ren grabs onto her hand and Kelsey thinks about how hot he is. Kelsey mentions how she's more used to dealing with him as a tiger because she doesn't have to deal with them arguing about things. This is a fair point (and one that I've been harping about for a while, since they haven't had a ton of character interaction even this far into the book), and she specifically says that he doesn't argue with her when he's a tiger.
He smiled an amazingly white smile and stroked the inside of my arm. "Your skin here is so soft."
He leaned over to nuzzle my ear. My blood started pounding thickly and fogged my brain. "Kells, tell me you agree with my plan."
He knows that Kelsey's brain basically short circuits whenever he touches her, and he's using this intentionally to make her agree with him. That's pretty manipulative. Oh, he claims he doesn't have any idea that he knows this happens, but I don't see how he wouldn't.
I shook myself free from the spellbinding fog and set my jaw stubbornly. "Fine. You win. Even though you are coercing me."
So, she's stubborn, but she's also agreeing with him? That doesn't make sense.
He laughted and moved to look at me. "And how exactly am I coercing you?"
He sees that she's upset and then laughs because he thinks it's funny.
"Well, first of all, you can't expect me to have coherent thoughts when you're touching me. Second, you always know how to get your way with me."
That's...kind of horrifying.
"Is that right?"
"Sure. All you have to do is bat your eyes, or in your case smile and ask nicely, throw in a distracting touch, and then, before I know it, you get whatever it is you want."
Yeah, hi, this is a really unhealthy relationship.
"Really?" he teased quietly. "I had no idea I had that effect on you."
Yeah, based on how this is written, he definitely knows. Creep.
He rubs his fingers over her jaw and her neck (!) and "threatens playfully"that he'll "have to use it more to [his] advantage in the future."
I would like to call the police.
Kelsey starts quivering, which makes Ren seem even more pleased with himself (!). Why is he acting like a serial killer all of a sudden? I'm creeped out.
Kelsey touches the Matt Damon amulet and thinks about Kishan.
Briefly, I though about Kishan and how formidable he appeared on the surface. Inside, he was as harmless as a kitten. The dangerous brother was Ren. Innocent though the blue-eyed tiger appeared to be, he was a compelling predator. Utterly irresistible--like a Venus flytrap. So alluring, so tempting, so deadly. Everything he did was seductive and quite possibly hazardous to my heart.
I wouldn't really consider a Venus flytrap to be particularly irresistible. They're cool plants, but it's a weird comparison. Also, where is all of this coming from? Kelsey hasn't had any of these thoughts before this, and she's spent a decent amount of time with him as a human before this.
So...was this the point of the whole butterfly thing from all those chapters ago? Here's that exchange from all the way back in Chapter 13:
Ren came up and nudged a butterfly from my arm to his finger. "These are called crow butterflies, and the other tigers are called blue tigers. The blue tigers are brighter and easier to spot, so they live with the crows for camouflage."
"Camouflage? Why do they need it?"
"The crows are inedible. In fact, they're poisonous, so other butterflies try to mimic them to fool predators."
They're similar enough that I think they're trying to be about the same thing, but it's backwards and as a result makes no sense. Kelsey is saying that Ren is camouflaging himself to be harmless, but he's actually dangerous. The blue tiger butterflies are harmless but they're camouflaging themselves to look dangerous. Which is what Kishan is doing, according to Kelsey. But the butterflies are called "blue tigers" and can only be referring to Ren.
So, yeah, the butterfly thing ended up being pointless because it makes no sense.
He seemed much more intimidating to me than Kishan with his flirty and blatant comments.
Whose flirty and blatant comments? The way this is written, it can apply to either of them. Context doesn't help either, because both of them are blatantly flirtatious. They act exactly the same way.
Kishan was equal to Ren in many ways. In that regard, I could understand Yesubai's choice, but what made Ren 100 percent more dangerous to me was that I had feelings for him--strong ones. I already loved the tiger part of him before I knew he was a man. That bond made caring for the man that much easier.
I legitimately have no idea what Kelsey is trying to say here. None of these things are related to each other. Why does Ren and Kishan being equal mean that Kelsey understands Yesubai's choice? Why does what Yesubai chose have any effect on how dangerous Ren is to Kelsey (they're presented like they're related because there's a "but" in there)? So Kelsey was in love with a tiger? That's what it sounds like.
I mean, this is just here for angst. It's the point in the story where the romantic leads are arguing with each other and we're supposed to wonder if they'll end up together in the end. But in a story that makes sense, this usually happens after something actually happens, you know? Something makes them question their relationship. Here, Kelsey just starts angsting out of nowhere because, well, that's what's supposed to happen. But we're not given a reason for it to be happening.
But being with the man was so much more complicated than being with the tiger. I had to constantly remind myself that they were two sides of the same coin--literally heads and tails.
Um...she is aware that tigers also have heads, right?
There were so many reasons why I should let myself fall completely for Ren. There was a definite connection between us.
What "connection" is there other than being physically attracted to each other? And the whole vague "Chosen One" stuff?
I was undeniably attracted to him.
Which we know already, because you keep drooling whenever you think about him.
We had a lot in common.
Yeah. You're an eighteen-year-old American teenager from Oregon, and he's a three-hundred-and-fifty-year-old Indian prince. I'm not saying that they wouldn't be able to have a genuine connection, but you have almost nothing in common, with the exception of liking poetry.
I enjoyed my time with him.
You were literally just complaining about how hard it is to spend time with him when he's a human at the beginning of this paragraph.
I liked talking to him and listening to his voice.
No mention of listening to what he says to her. Which is kind of funny.
And, I felt like I could tell him anything.
Except for asking him about Yesubai. Just because Houck forgets about these things doesn't mean I have to. You have very pointedly not talked about Yesubai because you don't want him to think about her. That doesn't sound like "telling him everything" to me.
But, there were so many reasons for me to be cautious. Our relationship felt so complex.
It's really not. He's got sculpted pecs and you like that.
Everything had happened so fast.
That's something I agree with.
I felt overwhelmed by him.
The fact that your brain shuts off every time he touches you isn't normal.
We were from different cultures. Different countries. Different centuries. Until now, we were even from different species for most of each day
I thought you just said you had a lot in common?
Sorry to go line by line through this stuff. It just makes no sense to me. Okay, last lengthy quote from this stupid section. No, I don't know why it's italicized.
Falling for him would be like cliff diving. It would either be the most exhilarating thing that ever happened to me or the stupidest mistake I'd ever make. It would make my life worth living or it would crush me against stony rocks and break me utterly. Perhaps the wise thing to do would be to slow things down. Being friends would be so much simpler.
Yeah, if your protagonist is analogizing falling in love with your love interest with jumping off a cliff and dying, that doesn't sound like a great relationship, Houck.
Also, I'm annoyed that "falling in love with a guy" is supposed to be the best thing that could ever happen to you. I know this is trashy YA paranormal romance, but that's kind of a terrible message to be sending to your chief demographic, i.e., young teenage girls.
Anyway, moving on. Ren comes back after getting more firewood and asks what she's thinking about. Kelsey brushes him off, despite just saying that she can tell him anything. He doesn't pressure her to answer, so Kelsey adds it to her "pros" list. Isn't this a plot in Friends? I haven't seen Friends.
Ren says he'll take the first watch even though it probably won't be necessary. She gives a curt answer, and Ren asks if she's alright. I'd be pretty confused too, since this is really coming out of nowhere.
I mentally shook myself. Sheesh! I needed a cold shower!
That is not something I expected to read in this book, which has been pretty solidly PG for the most part. She then compares him to a drug, which is recycled from Twilight, but Kelsey actually feels like this is a bad thing, so I guess it's okay.
Kelsey makes a reference to Spider-man, which Ren doesn't get, and he says he'll keep watch for a few hours.
"Then, if nothing happens," he said with a grin, "I'll join you."
I froze and suddenly became very nervous. Surely, he didn't mean what it sounded like.
Uh, he's done this before, remember Kelsey? He slept in your hotel room for a few nights. Yeah, he was a tiger for most of it, but the parts you described in the narration were when he was a dude. This isn't like Ren's coming out of nowhere. He's been very up-front about his intentions.
Kelsey moves to the other side of the fire while Ren keeps watch. She asks where he thinks they are, which would have been a good question to ask last chapter instead of getting lectured about kappas. The sky looks weird and Ren says it feels like they're underground. You...you guys remember that you walked down a staircase to get here, right?
Kelsey is having trouble getting to sleep, and she tells Ren that she's used to having a tiger pillow. Ren offers to help her out, and Kelsey tells him that she's fine. He ignores her and picks her up (nice), and holds onto her.
She tells him that she's having trouble relaxing, and he asks her why she's having so much trouble since it never bothered her when he was a tiger. Um. This isn't the first time this has happened, Houck. Chapter 17:
I felt safe snuggled in his arms and enjoyed listening to the warm timbre of his voice as he spoke quietly. Later, he began humming softly, and I felt the strong beat of his heart keeping rhythm against my cheek.
She didn't have any problem a few chapters ago! I still have no idea what changed her mind!
He tells her that he likes the smell of her hair and starts purring. Kelsey asks him to stop and he asks why, since she never minded it when he was a tiger. Yeah, I have the same question, buddy.
I twitched and shivered, with nerves, or anticipation, or something else, and he noticed. He stopped kissing my neck and lifted his head to peer at my face in the flickering firelight. His voice was solemn and calm, "Kelsey, I hope you know that I would never hurt you. You don't need to be afraid of me."
That's not how dialogue tags work. I think you're missing a "said" in there.
Also, is it concerning that Ren's first thought upon noticing that Kelsey is uncomfortable to tell her that he's not going to harm her? Maybe a little bit. Because of the implication.
Nah, I actually think Ren's being pretty considerate here, as he's trying to make Kelsey feel better. Kelsey is the one in the wrong here, because her attitude toward him has done a complete 180, and she won't communicate with him at all. Although, to be fair, the last time they argued they never actually talked through it either, so this is pretty on trend.
Kelsey does actually say that she's not afraid, but she's never been close to someone like this. Ren says that he hasn't either. I'd find this a bit more believable if he wasn't so suave and practiced in getting Kelsey to agree to stuff through seduction, but okay.
He shifted, lying down again. "Now, turn around and go to sleep. I'm warning you that I plan to sleep with you in my arms all night long. Who knows when, or if, I'll ever get to do it again. So try to relax, and for heaven's sake, don't wiggle!"
What even is this dialogue. Also, now I'm annoyed with Ren because Kelsey very clearly doesn't want to do this because he's moving really fast, and he just bullies her into doing something she isn't comfortable with.
So, they kind of both suck.
She does end up sleeping really well, so I guess Kelsey doesn't know what she wants.
She wakes up the next morning in his arms, and he's still asleep, so she stares at him for a while. She waxes poetic about how "utterly kissable" his lips are and about how long his eyelashes are.
He looked like an archangel who fell to the earth.
Um, you do know what fallen angels are, don't you? Also, please don't bring Christian theology into this, as it's making me repeat my complaint that you apparently grew up religious and then didn't question anything when you found out that Hindu gods physically exist.
She tries to get up, and Ren says, "Don't you even think about moving." Which would be fine if Kelsey was fully into this whole situation, but it seems like she isn't, so it's weird.
I bit my lip. Alarm bells started going off in my head.
Where has this Kelsey been this whole time?
He nuzzled my neck, and an image came to my mind of him beckoning me to jump off a cliff and then laughing as my body broke on the wet rocks below.
Yeah, this shouldn't be the image a protagonist sees when she thinks about her love interest. Even if they're not getting along very well at the moment, she shouldn't see a picture of him murdering her like what the fuck.
Kelsey tells herself to stop thinking about him and focus on the reason they're there in the first place--getting the Golden Fruit. She then...does nothing but think about him for the next page and a half.
Sorry for going line by line again, but seriously, this stuff makes no sense.
He'd probably fall in love with any girl who was destined to save him.
You've already had this conversation. Chapter 10:
"And if I had the option of choosing the girl to save me, I'd still have picked you [over Cathleen]."
"Why?"
"A number of reasons. I liked you. You are interesting. I enjoyed listening to your voice. I felt like you saw through the tiger skin to the person underneath. When you spoke, it felt like you were saying exactly the things I needed to hear. You're smart. You like poetry, and you're very pretty."
So, no.
Plus, there's no way a guy like him would ever be attracted to a girl like me.
See the above quote from chapter 10. Also, Kishan also immediately started calling you beautiful (not the mention the three other guys wrapped around her finger in the next book) so in addition to the personality reasons she's apparently quite a looker.
Ren was like Superman, and I had to grudgingly admit that I was no Lois Lane.
I thought that the whole point of Lois Lane was that she was a normal person, and that Superman was able to fall in love with her in spite of and, to be honest, because of that? She's his link to the world and everything, you know? So, uh, you kind of are Lois Lane in this scenario.
When the curse is broken, he'll probably want to date supermodels.
Where is she getting this idea from? A lot of the interaction they've had that I've actually liked has been them bonding over poetry and plays and stuff like that. Not that a supermodel wouldn't also be into that, but you both already have that as a basis for your relationship.
Also, I'm the first girl he's been around in more than three hundred years, give or take--and although the timeline is a bit different, he's the first man I've ever felt anything for.
Um, those statements aren't related, and I don't really know what the timeline has to do with you feeling anything for him.
Also, Nilima. Cathleen. Literally any other female humans that he's come into contact with since he's been in circuses for three hundred or so years. You're the first one to actually be special enough to do anything.
If I let myself dream about having forever with him when this is all over, I'm sure to be disappointed.
For the reasons stated above, this is dumb.
I also have no idea why all of that was italicized.
She thinks about how she's excited and scared because she's never had a boyfriend before. Which is the first thing she's said that actually makes sense.
She ultimately decides that she's going to choose not to be with Ren, help him out through Kishkindha, and then they can part ways.
Does she handle this maturely and communicate with Ren about her decision? Of course not! As they're walking toward Kishkinda (which takes a while, meaning that there is absolutely no way that Kelsey should have been able to tell the makeup of the rocks making up the walls), every time Ren tries to be nice to her, she pulls her hands away from his, and doesn't let him touch her at all.
I didn't say anything or offer any explanations because I couldn't think of a way to broach the subject.
Yeah, so you have no right to get mad at him when he gets frustrated with how you're acting later.
It didn't take him long to stop trying, and I felt a wall as big as the Great Wall of China go up between us.
"I felt a wall as big as a really big wall go up between us."
They get to the moat, and there's a drawbridge, but it's closed. Apparently when Kelsey described the city as being the size of a medieval castle, she actually meant that it looks like an actual medieval castle, which would have been nice to know when you described it the first time. There are a lot of kappa in the river, so Kelsey suggests using a log as a bridge. Ren physically spins her around (rude) and takes out the gada. She asks if there's anything she can do to help and Ren angrily says that she can't because they only have one gada.
Even though I already knew the answer, I asked, "Ren, why are you angry? Is something bothering you?" I grimaced, knowing that it was me that was bothering him.
Wow, rubbing salt in the wound there. Seriously, that's actually cruel, Kelsey. You're making me feel bad for Ren, Kelsey.
Ren says that nothing is bothering him, because communication is for chumps.
His biceps bulged as he walked the trunk to the edge of the creek.
A girl can still admire, can't she? Even those who can't afford to go in the store can still window-shop. Right?
Kelsey is such a hypocrite.
It was like watching Hercules in action. I sucked in an appreciative breath and had to keep repeating the words, "He's not for me, he's not for me, he's not for me," to strengthen my resolve.
But why? It's like Houck realized that they're relationship was boring and then tried to cram in half a book of character development into a single chapter. None of this makes any sense!
Ren turns back into a tiger and jumps up to the drawbridge, pulling it down over the river. The inside of the city is made out of the same rock as the walls, and Kelsey repeats almost exactly the same description from the beginning of the chapter, so it makes more sense to get the mineral makeup of the stones here. Since she's close enough to, you know, see them.
There's a giant statue of Hanuman, and everything is covered with monkey statues. I'm not sure why this isn't the first thing that gets described, because I think I'd notice that before the periwinkle-colored mica.
In fact, the only kind of monkeys not included were the fictitious flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz and King Kong.
Hey, I already made that reference! Also, you said one "kind" of monkey and then listed two, since the flying monkeys and King Kong are not the same kind of monkey. Also, King Kong isn't a monkey, he's an ape.
Fanindra comes alive and slithers off of Kelsey's arm and starts leading them somewhere. Ren stays a tiger and Kelsey calls him out on it, and says that he shouldn't waste the time he has as a dude. He changes back and immediately says that he's angry because she seems to like him better as a tiger than as a human. Kelsey tries to deflect by saying that it's complicated, so he asks if he's moving too fast for her.
"No. It's not that. It's just," I wrung my hands, "I don't want to make a mistake or get involved in something that will lead to one or both of us getting hurt, and I really don't think this is the best place to talk about this."
Which, again, would be fine if there was any buildup to this at all.
Eventually, Fanindra takes them to a reflecting pool full of water. There are four statues of monkeys around it. The narration makes a point of saying that all of them have tails curled over their bodies. I only bring this up because one of them is a chimpanzee, and chimpanzees don't have tails.
There's an inscription on the pool that says Niyuj Kapi or "choose the monkey." I can't find a translation for "niyuj," but it looks like "kapi" translates roughly to ape or monkey, and more specifically to baboon.
Two of the monkeys aren't native to India (the spider monkey and the chimpanzee) so they rule those out.
This one is a chimpanzee, which is technically an ape, not a monkey. They're often classified as a monkey because of their size.
I have heard exactly zero people classify a chimpanzee as a monkey, because they don't have tails. Also, monkeys tend to be on the smaller side, and chimpanzees are pretty big! I mean, they're not as big as the other great apes, but they're not tiny.
They argue some more. It's very tedious.
"I'm not avoiding you. I just need some space. It has nothing to do with your species. It has to do with other things."
"What other things?"
"Nothing."
"It's something."
"It can't be anything."
"What can't be anything?"
"Can we just get back to the monkeys?" I yelled.
"Fine!" he hollered back.
It's pretty much the most cliched arguing ever. Ren's acting pretty much in character (remember how petty he was when they were arguing about Kishan), but while Kelsey's been written as stubborn up until this point, she's never come across like this before. Because now she's coming across as downright rude and spiteful:
Before I could stop myself, I shot out a sarcastic, "I had had no idea that I was walking with a monkey expert, but, then again, you have eaten them right? So I guess that would be the difference between say, pork and chicken, to someone like me."
So many things. "I had no idea that I was walking with a monkey expert" is a thing that exactly zero people would ever say over "I had no idea you were such a monkey expert." I have no idea what's sarcastic about that statement, either. And the difference between two species of monkey is not going to be the same as the difference between a bird and a mammal. And what happened to Kelsey being supposedly really empathetic? Everyone else constantly says that she's really in tune with other people's emotions and stuff, but now she can't clue into the fact that Ren doesn't want to be reminded that he's a tiger and, uh, cursed, which he's made very clear before this.
Ren scowled at me. "I lived in zoos and circuses for centuries, remember? And I don't . . . eat . . . monkeys!"
That's phrased like it's supposed to be a joke, but it's not funny. There's no punchline, for one thing, and it's based on centuries of suffering in zoos and circuses, so it's not like the circumstances are all that funny, either.
The other two monkeys are a macaque and a baboon, both native to India. Well, they're native to a lot of places, but they also live in India. Kelsey picks the baboon because it looks the most like Hanuman (which I spoiled because the instructions said to choose the baboon, and were just mistranslated). They play around with the statue to figure out what to do with it (while arguing the entire time), and it twists around to reveal a box with a lever. When Kelsey touches the lever, her hand starts glowing again and the lever moves.
The pool splits in half, and a tree starts growing. It has golden leaves that glow.
It was the most beautiful tree I had ever seen.
Ren took my hand and led me cautiously toward the tree. He stretched out a hand to finger a golden leaf.
"It's beautiful!" I exclaimed.
Holy redundancy, Batman!
The tree turns out to be a mango tree. Ren picks a flower off to put behind Kelsey's ear and she pretends she doesn't see, so he drops it, because Forced Romantic Tension.
They see a golden fruit hanging up on the top branch. This reminds me of the ending of the tutorial in Okami where you have to sever the peach from the top of Sakuya's tree:
Protip: don't misremember this as a golden peach and then run a Google image search, because you well get a lot of inflation art and now I'll never be the same again.
"Why?"
"Mangoes are one of the main exports of India. It's a staple for our country. It's possible that it's the most important natural resource that we have. So the Golden Fruit is a mango. I should have guessed it before."
Yeah, so why didn't Mr. Kadam guess this before? If it's so important to your culture as a whole, you'd think he would have brought it up instead of saying "lol I dunno what it is."
Also, yeah, more exposition during the climax (?) of the novel. Nice.
Ren tells Kelsey to climb up on his shoulders to get it (which is why they should have gotten the Power Slash technique at the shrine to Nagi). Kelsey says that he should just turn into a tiger to get it, but then Ren touches her nose and tells her that she's going to do what he says. For Reasons, I guess. Hey, at least Kelsey's actually doing something now.
She complains the whole time, but it never actually tells us what she says, which I am eternally grateful for. She reaches up and grabs onto a branch above her, but she's still a foot or two away from the fruit. Ren pulls her shoes off and tells her to stand on his hands and he'll lift her up.
I hissed, "Ren are you crazy? I'm too heavy for you."
Yeah, you just watched him single-handedly lift a giant tree trunk to lay down across a river. You're fine.
Oh, throughout all of this, Ren's dialogue tags have become pretty negative. He brags, he scoffs drolly, etc. This is supposed to be a reflection of Kelsey trying not to be into him anymore, but they're not...wrong. It's just that now we have a more objective view of how Ren acts, and he's kind of obnoxious.
The fruit is hanging from a branch that tries to swing the fruit away from Kelsey, and when she catches it, it's surprisingly strong. She pulls the fruit off eventually.
And now...it's time! It's time for the antagonist to show up!! He's actually here!!!
All at once, my body iced over and became rigid, and my mind was carried away in a black vision. A burning heat seared my chest, and I stood in complete darkness. A ghostly figure started making its way toward me.
Yes! Yes! Stuff is happening!
The misty features swirled around a shape and solidified into a form. It was Mr. Kadam! He was clutching at his chest. When he removed his hand, I saw that his amulet was glowing red hot.
Well, I mean, it's Mr. Kadam, but something's happening to him! Oh, no!
I looked down and saw that mine, too, glowed in the same manner.
And whatever's happening to Mr. Kadam is also happening to Kelsey! Wow, this sure is mysterious! And stuff is finally happen that isn't in the protagonists' complete control, so it's actually interesting!
Another guy walks up to Mr. Kadam, and he's also holding a Matt Damon amulet.
The man was dressed in expensive, modern clothing. His quick eyes showed intelligence, confidence, determination, and something else, something dark, something . . . evil.
WE HAVE AN ANTAGONIST, EVERYBODY!
He looks over to Kelsey and sees her Matt Damon amulet.
Gleaming malice and loathsome delight swept over his face.
I mean, we still don't know why he wants these things. But I'm still happy he's here.
Kelsey sees him start to mutter something, and Mr. Kadam and herself start to dissolve into mist.
I couldn't stand anymore. I fell down . . . down . . . down.
And the chapter ends.
Closing Thoughts
WE HAVE AN ANTAGONIST, BABY!
I mean, ideally antagonists should be introduced near the beginning of the story and not 3/4 of the way through, and we should have a bit of an idea of what it is they want and why they want it. Their actions should be the driving force behind all of the stuff our protagonists have to face. Or at least stand in their way at all. Because based on this it doesn't look like he actually knew that Kelsey existed until now. But still!!!
The bigger problem in this chapter is the complete 180 that Kelsey took regarding Ren. I'm not saying that there shouldn't be any conflict, but we shouldn't transfer from "everything is fine" to "we're arguing about every little thing" in one chapter. It feels sudden and out of character for both of them.
This is probably a holdover from when this was a self-published ebook. It feels very fanfiction in both character interaction and weird pacing.
I'm also not sure how much we're supposed to believe Kelsey here. Is this an unreliable narrator situation, where we're supposed to think that Kelsey is being irrational? Or are we supposed to sympathize with her being afraid of being in a relationship, since that's an actual established character trait? The way it's written, it hovers somewhere in between these two. Either way on its own could work if it was set up properly, but trying to mix the two makes neither work very well.
And we've officially gotten through the prophecy! Let's look at it again really quick:
For protection, seek her temple
And take hold of Durga's blessing.
Pretty straightforward. Although I'm not sure what "protection" was afforded by receiving her blessing, unless the gada is considered a blessing. It seems like more of a gift to me, but whatever.
Travel west and seek Kishkindha,
Where simians rule the ground.
Well, they found Kishkindha, but there weren't really any monkeys.
(We'll find out what this means in the next chapter. Spoiler, evil monkeys that show up out of nowhere. Where have they been up until now? Don't worry about it.)
Gada strike in Hanuman's realm;
And hunt the branch that's bound.
Is...is the branch that's bound just the hard to break twig the Golden Fruit was hanging off of? It's not like it played a role in the quest or anything.
Thorny dangers grasp above;
Dazzling dangers lie below.
The thorny dangers were the trees, but they weren't really "above" since the leaves hung down at person height. The dazzling dangers didn't play any role, because they knew automatically not to pick up the jewels. The kappa didn't do anything. They do in the next chapter, but it's not because of the jewels in the river.
Unless it's talking about the tunnels, but that's already covered by the "lurid phantoms" stuff, and I wouldn't call them particularly "dazzling."
Strangle, ensnare, the ones you love--
And trap in brackish undertow.
"Brackish" means that the water is salty, and this is a freshwater river. Also, in the next chapter the kappas don't try to drown them, they just try to suck their blood (spoilers again, sorry).
Lurid phantoms thwart your route
And guardians wait to block your way.
The lurid phantoms happened, sure, but the way the prophecy is phrased makes it sound like they would succeed in thwarting them. Also, there weren't any guardians waiting to block their way.
Beware once they begin pursuit
Or embrace their moldering decay.
This makes it sound like there were mummies or zombies in an earlier draft that tried to stop them from getting to the fruit. Also, what use are guardians that only start chasing you after you get the thing they're trying to protect in the first place?
But all of this you can refute
If serpents find forbidden fruit
But wait, that's not how the serpents worked. They found out that the word "serpents" didn't apply to Fanindra because it's plural. That's how they found the entrance to Kishkindha. Those serpents didn't do anything to help find the fruit except getting them into the magical realm in the first place. And the way this is phrased makes it sound like none of this would happen if they managed to find the fruit. But finding the fruit is what caused this in the first place.
This is making my brain hurt.
And India's hunger satisfy . . .
Lest all her people surely die.
I've already spoken at length about why this doesn't make sense. Suffice it to say that once they start using the Golden Fruit, they don't use it for the good of the people.
So yeah, I was right when I said that the prophecy didn't make sense, and that some of it never happens to begin with.
I hate this book.
Next time, Chapter 22: Escape! Kelsey and Ren leave Kishkindha. They're back to normal without any arguing, too, with no explanation. So all of the arguing this chapter was pointless. Awesome.
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