Chapter 6: Choices
Welcome back! Last time, Ren explained why he's back in Oregon, and Kelsey went on a date with Li.
Yeah, that's about all that happened. Really.
The beginning of this book is so sloooooowwwwwwww
Chapter Six: Choices
And this chapter continues to be slow!
We immediately cut back to Kelsey coming back inside after Kissing Li at the end of their date. Ren is still inside her place, sprawled out on the couch as a tiger (because he's still only human for six hours a day).
Tears came to my eyes. I hadn't realized that I'd missed this part of him, my friend, so much. I knelt down in front of the couch, threw my arms around his neck, and cried big alligator tears, letting them spill down my cheeks and into his soft white fur.
Now, this is something interesting because it's wrong in two ways! "Alligator tears" isn't a slang phrase--it's "crocodile tears." And crocodile tears are called crocodile tears because crocodiles can't cry. Crocodile tears are fake tears. From Wikipedia: "Crocodile tears (or superficial sympathy) is a false, insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief."
So. Not even remotely applicable to this situation.
He was finally with me. I wasn't alone anymore. Suddenly, I understood that he must have felt this way too, being without me all these months.
He...he literally just told you this last chapter! You had a really long conversation about how much he missed you and how he almost drove himself crazy! I guess Kelsey zoned out for that part of the conversation.
I choked back a sob. "Red, I . . . I missed you so much. I wanted to talk to you. You're my best friend. It's just that I didn't want to take away your choices. Can you understand that?"
Ugh. This whole conflict that's been going on for a large chunk of the last book and all of this book so far is...well, it's not very good. Character conflict is interesting when it's based on something that's actually real. Here, it's just a failure of communication between Kelsey and Ren about Kelsey feeling insecure for some undefined reason. Kelsey has no (good) reason to believe that Ren would change his mind about loving her. So when we spend all this time dealing with a problem that's obviously not a real problem, it's boring to read.
Ren turns back into a human, and says that he understands but that Kelsey is his choice. He asks if she kissed Li, and Kelsey says that she did. He asks why, and Kelsey says it was to compare how she felt about Li versus how she feels about Ren.
Ren picked me up and set me on the couch next to him. He was warming to the topic, and I couldn't figure out why.
He's thinking "threesome."
I expected him to be angry, but he wasn't at all.
"So dating is how you learn if you like each other?"
Oh boy, more inconsistent characterization! Ren just used the word "fazed" in the last chapter. He should know what a date is. In fact, Ren referred to his dinner with Kelsey at the end of Tiger's Curse as a date! He complains about Kelsey thinking he should date supermodels instead of her! So he knows what they are and what they're for!
But here it seems like Ren has never heard the word before, as he says, "I'm just curious about these modern courtship rituals. What did you do on these dates?"
It's just weird.
Anyway, Kelsey says that she's been on multiple other dates, not only with Li, but also with Jason and Artie. She's only kissed Li, though.
"So Li is the one you favor." Ren started mumbling to himself. Turning to face me, he took my hands in his. "Kelsey, I think you should keep dating."
Oof, the wish fulfillment is crazy here. Kelsey has explicit permission to date multiple guys at the same time while they fight for her affections.
Wait, Ren tried to kill Kishan for less in the last book. He just touched Kelsey's face and he fought Kishan to the point of having mortal wounds that would have killed them if they didn't have a Wolverine healing factor.
Ren says that she can keep dating whoever she wants as long as she dates him too, since she hasn't made her choice yet. He also says that he's going with her to wushu class. Kelsey points out that it's a beginner's class, but Ren just wants to show off his masculinity in front of the rival beta male, so he's going regardless. Kelsey agrees, and Ren tells her to treat him like the other guys she's been seeing, i.e., like a normal person. He goes back to his place next door and Kelsey goes to bed.
Ren calls her the next morning to ask her on their first official date, which is actually kind of cute. I would say that it's not their first date, since they had dinner together at the end of the first book, but he did coerce her into that one. So it's their first consensual date. He says he'll pick her up at 5:30, and Kelsey says that he's welcome to come over to her side a bit early if he wants. He says he'll see her at 5:30. Comedy?
She waits all day for him to come over through their connecting door, but even chocolate chip cookies can't draw him over. He shows up at 5:30 with a rose. I'll spare you the overwrought description of his outfit. It's fancy.
Kelsey takes him to a place called Burgerville to introduce him to American food. On the way, Ren fills her in on how things went back in India while she was gone. Both Ren and Kishan have been learning a lot about modern life, and apparently Kishan crashed one of the cars into the giant ostentatious fountain at their mansion, so Mr. Kadam won't let him near the Rolls Royce anymore. That's kind of funny, but it's probably just because it's about Kishan and Kishan has the closest thing to a character arc in this series so I like him more.
Ren's also been learning a lot about how business works, and Mr. Kadam has filled him in on the various investments he's made over the years.
"Apparently, living for centuries, plus Kadam's wise investments, has paid off. We are quite wealthy."
"How wealthy?"
"Wealthy enough to run our own country."
Yet inconspicuous enough to remain off the grid so that one of the most powerful men on the planet, who is equally immortal, hasn't been able to find you for three hundred and fifty years.
Sure.
Ren keeps talking about how cool Mr. Kadam is. He's got contacts all over the world, and lots of important people owe him favors.
"Important people? Like who?"
"Generals, CEOs, politicians from every major city in the world, royalty, and even religious leaders. He's very well connected. [. . . ]"
Uh, that's kind of a problem when you're literally immortal. The more people who know you, the more people can see that you don't age or, like, die. Even the Cullens knew they had to move around and keep to themselves so no one knew they were immortal.
Ren and Kelsey exchange entire paragraphs of dialogue that in no way sound natural. It boils down to Ren feeling indebted to Mr. Kadam for all he's done for himself and Kishan, and Kelsey saying that the best way to show him their thanks is to treat him like their father. There, I summed up a page in one sentence.
They get to Burgerville, and Ren orders an absurd amount of food (because comedy, I guess), and Kelsey explains to the bemused counter girl that he's "very hungry." Laugh, dammit!
Kelsey mentions the test of four houses thing that she's supposed to be working on (no idea what it is yet, and she won't until she gets there), and they share a milkshake like we're in a 50s diner all of a sudden. They "banter" for a bit, and then they go for a walk. Riveting stuff, I know.
We have a...weird non-scene break?
Despite my teasing, being close to him did make me warm, and we talked and watched the moonlit water for hours.
Ren wanted to know about everything I'd done since I left India. He wanted to see Silver Falls, go to the Shakespeare festival, go out to the movies, and try every restaurant in town.
There's no page break, so it looks like this is part of the same scene, but it appears to happen some time later. But then later on, they walk back to the car and drive back home? I dunno. It's confusing.
They talk a bit more about how Terrible it was when Kelsey left, and how Kishan missed her too, frequently threatening to head back into the jungle. Kishan also listened in on Kelsey's phone calls with Mr. Kadam, which is not great!
Kelsey is still trying to justify her choice to leave Ren, and says that she only wanted to make things easier for Ren as he gets used to the modern world. Not sure how his only friend, who grew up in modern times, not talking to him anymore would help, but sure.
"You don't complicate my life. You simplify it. When you're near, I know exactly where I should be--by your side. When you were gone, I just ran around in confused circles. My life was unbalanced. Out of focus."
"So I'm your Ritalin, huh?"
It's not quite "You're my own personal brand of heroin," but it'll do in a pinch.
Ren asks what she means, and she says that it's a medicine that helps you concentrate better. Ren says not to forget he needs frequent doses. Hardy har, come on, laugh! This is what passes for humor!
They head back home, and Ren leaves Kelsey at her front door and doesn't come inside, like he's some sort of vampire. Kelsey is "confused and slightly frustrated" that he doesn't join her inside, which means that she was ready to bone down, I guess?
Over the next few weeks, Ren dates Kelsey like a normal person, by which I mean "like a weirdo." He refuses to see Kelsey unless they're on a date, and calls every morning to set up a meeting later on. Uh, Ren, you do realize that you're allowed to have contact with the other person even if you're not on an official "date," right? This is like what people did when they needed chaperones to allow a man and a woman to talk to each other. It's dumb.
It's supposed to look like Ren is dating like a normal human person, but it still feels really controlling. Now that Kelsey actually wants to see him, he doesn't let her unless it's on his terms. He framed this whole thing to make it look like it was so Kelsey could make a choice, but...he's literally still calling all of the shots, here. Kelsey keeps trying to see him, but he won't let her. It's weird and creepy and I don't like it!
Otherwise, they've started reading through Othello, because Shakespeare = Othello and Shakespeare = Romeo and Juliet, and Romeo and Juliet = love, so therefore Romeo and Juliet = Othello = love. I think my math checks out.
The only other connection I can think of is that Houck is trying to draw a parallel between Othello and Desdemona and Ren and Kelsey because they're...different? I don't know. Othello isn't very applicable to the themes in Tiger's Quest. Because there are no themes in Tiger's Quest, because Tiger's Quest is just a series of events that happen until the book ends.
Until Othello was deceived by Iago, Ren really liked his character.
"Othello destroyed his and Desdemona's love, just like Romeo did. It had nothing to do with Iago," Ren commented thoughtfully. "Othello didn't trust his wife. If he had only asked her what had happened to his handkerchief or how she felt about Cassio, he would have learned the truth."
Hmmm, are you saying that communication is good for a relationship? Practice what you preach.
Also, I have no idea how this is applicable to the plot. There is literally nothing about treachery or not trusting your partner in this story. Not kidding.
Kelsey says that Othello hadn't known Desdemona for very long, so they might not have been in love, just that Desdemona liked hearing Othello's stories about adventure or something. Ren asks if that's what Kelsey thinks about him, and Kelsey says that she likes being with him even when they're not doing their Indiana Jones thing in India. Which, uh, renders that whole conversation moot, I guess.
Eventually, Kelsey gets annoyed that Ren is refusing to see her outside of their once-a-day dates, so she heads over to his side of the duplex to find him. She snoops around for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be in. His computer is open to a few files, so Kelsey decides to take a peek. Hey, Ren already said he listened into her phone calls, it's only fair, I guess?
He has a couple of web pages open, one to a designer clothing store (because he's very rich, don't you ever forget that) and one to an analysis of courtship through the ages (which means he's trying, I guess). The third thing open is an email chain from Mr. Kadam. I'll post them in full (because they're really short).
From: masteratarms@rajaramcorp.com
To: whttgr@rajaramcorp.com
Subject: Documents
Ren,
The issue of the documents is resolved.
Kadam
From: masteratarms@rajaramcorp.com
To: whttgr@rajaramcorp.com
Subject: Relocation
Ren,
Per your request, I’ve attached a file in case of emergency.
Kadam
Hee hee, I love their email addresses. I think mine looked like that when I made fake emails in elementary school when I wanted to sign up for Neopets. Also, for speaking about a clandestine operation involving documents and relocation, it's absolutely transparent who these two are if you know what you're looking for. Lokesh knows what he's looking for. This is dumb.
But yeah, Ren and Mr. Kadam are involved in some secret plan involving documents and relocation! They're obviously about Kelsey, because she's the protagonist, but it's nice that Ren is still keeping things from Kelsey that she should probably know. Like, uh, "Keep a low profile so our immortal enemy can't find you and kill you."
Ren walks in and catches her about to look into more of his emails. Seriously, he stops her as her cursor is over the attachment when he stops her.
"It's appropriate to ask for permission before snooping into personal documents, don't you think?"
It's appropriate to ask for permission before listening into phone calls, moving in next door to your ex, and forcing her to be around you, don't you think?
Kelsey says that she was looking for him and got sidetracked.
I stared at my shoelaces for a few seconds but quickly found a spark of annoyance to assuage the guilt and lifted my head. "Have you been hiding things from me?"
"No."
"Well is there something important going on here that you're not telling me?"
"No," he repeated.
"Promise me," I said quietly, "promise me with a royal oath."
He took my hands in his, looked me in the eyes, and said, "As the prince of the Mujulaain Empire, I promise you that there is nothing to worry about here. If you are concerned, ask Mr. Kadam." He leaned his head a little bit closer. "But what I really want is your trust. I won't abuse it, Kelsey."
Ren is a liar.
He's obviously been hiding things from her, because there's a whole thing about relocation. It's obviously not his relocation to India, because his correspondence with Mr. Kadam refers to an emergency. There hasn't been an emergency.
There is also something important going on. He's obviously planning something big with Mr. Kadam in case of an emergency. This seems like it would be useful for Kelsey to know, especially since we know from the last book that Lokesh knows who she is now, and will likely try to come and find her. The characters know this too. This is something important that Ren hasn't told her.
Ren's "royal oath" means diddly squat because there ISN'T a Mujulaain Empire anymore. There hasn't been for hundreds of years.
And HOO BOY the bit about "all I want is your trust" is making me hear horror movie music. This isn't great.
It would be fine if this was building up to something. But it's not! We already know that Lokesh is looking for Kelsey! When it's revealed later (spoilers, sorry) that he is, it's not a surprise! What's the advantage of keeping Kelsey in the dark here? Because she'll be scared? This way is much more dangerous!
She says that he'd better not abuse her trust, and he says he won't and kisses her hand, and then leaves the room.
The romantic daze
Sorry, that conversation was romantic to you??? I'm sketched out beyond belief!
The romantic daze dissipated soon after he left, and I found myself angry at the ease with which he bent me to his will with just a casual touch.
Yeah, that's not normal.
This chapter still isn't over, because we have to witness Li's awkward encounter with Ren at wushu! Great!!!!
Kelsey walks up to Li after a particularly abysmal class because she couldn't concentrate. Kelsey says that Ren is back, and Li, bless him, says that he was wondering when Ren would be back. He asks if she's breaking up with him, but he doesn't seem too upset about it.
Kelsey says that Ren wants them to keep dating as long as Ren date Kelsey at the same time. Li seems confused, and Kelsey explains, almost word-for-word from her conversation with Ren, that she can date both of them and then choose between them. Li isn't skeeved out by this proposition, and says that he's up for a little honest competition.
Good-bye, Li. It was nice to have a character that acted like a human for a little while, at least.
Li says that his grandfather taught him to fight his battles and that anyone who wouldn't fight for a girl is dumb. Essentially. Li asks where Ren lives, and Kelsey tells him that Ren lives next door.
"Right. He already has a proximity advantage, then."
I mumbled wryly, "Sounds like you guys are planning to storm the castle."
Is, uh, is that a euphemism?
Kelsey says that Ren is coming to the next wushu class. She says that Ren isn't at her level, which Li interprets to mean that he's a beginner. Whomp whomp! Kelsey tries to correct him, but he "shut[s] [her] up" by kissing her, which is rude.
The next morning, Kelsey wakes up to a note from Ren on her fridge, which means he's been over without her knowing, the creep. It's a quote from Bertrand Russell, which reads, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
Subtle.
Kelsey tells him over the phone that she's not happy about him going to wushu class, but he dismisses her, because he has to show how macho he is, I guess. This is not great. I thought this whole venture was to show her you valued her feelings by letting her choose?
Ren and Kelsey drive over to wushu, and Kelsey bumps into Jen while she's warming up. You know, Jen. (It's okay if you don't remember. She does nothing.)
Jen, possessor of two X chromosomes and therefore not immune to Ren's charms as a weak woman, is shocked when he walks in.
Her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. . . .
Ren took off his jacket, which solicited a squeak from Jennifer who was now totally focused on Ren's golden-bronze biceps. . . .
I hissed at him quietly, "For heaven's sake, Ren! You're going to give the woman heart palpitations!"
Because he's just that hot, guys.
Kelsey introduces Ren to the class as her friend from India, and Jen suddenly understands who he is. Because they had that conversation about the guy Kelsey left behind, remember.
Li starts teaching the class, and is suprised that Ren knows all of the moves. I mean, I am also surprised, because since when does Ren know wushu? Not all martial arts are exactly the same. There's a huge difference between karate and aikido, and those are both just from Japan.
They partner up for takedown drills, Kelsey with Li and Ren with Jennifer. Kelsey spaces out while she watches Ren interact with Jennifer, so when Li takes her down she goes down a little harder than normal.
"I'm so sorry, Kelsey! Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to--"
Before he could finish apologizing, Li was thrown to the mat a few feet away. Ren kneeled over me.
"Did he hurt you, Kells? Are you alright?"
What the fuck, Ren. This stuff happens in class! It's a contact sport, you get hit sometimes! You should know this because you train all the time! This is supposed to come off as romantic because Ooh Ren won't let anyone hurt Kelsey, but he just looks like a huge dick! The teacher is doing what he's supposed to do, and it was literally Kelsey's fault she fell too hard!
Li takes it in stride, pretty well, though, and says that he'd like to see Ren try that again. Because machismo.
Li finishes up class, while he and Ren stare daggers at each other the entire time. Kelsey promises to explain the whole situation to Jen after class. Then the next paragraph it's after class, so I don't know why they even had that conversation.
[Jen] squeezed my arm. "Your Ren is wonderful. And absolutely yummy."
Ew.
Kelsey explains the whole situation, and instead of offering anything useful, Jen just waffles on about how hot Ren is.
"This is so exciting! It's better than my favorite soap opera. Good luck, Kelsey. See you Monday."
Scene change! What follows is my least favorite sentence so far:
Dating Li, Ren, and Jason at the same time was absolutely ridiculous.
Thanks, I hate it!
Nothing much happens in this little micro-scene except for an extended metaphor about how guys fighting for your attention is like jousting. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
During his century, men probably did battle for females.
During the, uh, 17th century? Probably not? Also, Ren was a prince, so he'd have an arranged marriage. He did have an arranged marriage, and only didn't get married to Yesubai because of some Romeo and Juliet bullshit.
(Quick side note--I looked Ren up on the Tiger's Curse wiki because I forgot how old he was, and his character description is amazing.
Yeah, that's about all that happened. Really.
The beginning of this book is so sloooooowwwwwwww
Chapter Six: Choices
And this chapter continues to be slow!
We immediately cut back to Kelsey coming back inside after Kissing Li at the end of their date. Ren is still inside her place, sprawled out on the couch as a tiger (because he's still only human for six hours a day).
Tears came to my eyes. I hadn't realized that I'd missed this part of him, my friend, so much. I knelt down in front of the couch, threw my arms around his neck, and cried big alligator tears, letting them spill down my cheeks and into his soft white fur.
Now, this is something interesting because it's wrong in two ways! "Alligator tears" isn't a slang phrase--it's "crocodile tears." And crocodile tears are called crocodile tears because crocodiles can't cry. Crocodile tears are fake tears. From Wikipedia: "Crocodile tears (or superficial sympathy) is a false, insincere display of emotion such as a hypocrite crying fake tears of grief."
So. Not even remotely applicable to this situation.
He was finally with me. I wasn't alone anymore. Suddenly, I understood that he must have felt this way too, being without me all these months.
He...he literally just told you this last chapter! You had a really long conversation about how much he missed you and how he almost drove himself crazy! I guess Kelsey zoned out for that part of the conversation.
I choked back a sob. "Red, I . . . I missed you so much. I wanted to talk to you. You're my best friend. It's just that I didn't want to take away your choices. Can you understand that?"
Ugh. This whole conflict that's been going on for a large chunk of the last book and all of this book so far is...well, it's not very good. Character conflict is interesting when it's based on something that's actually real. Here, it's just a failure of communication between Kelsey and Ren about Kelsey feeling insecure for some undefined reason. Kelsey has no (good) reason to believe that Ren would change his mind about loving her. So when we spend all this time dealing with a problem that's obviously not a real problem, it's boring to read.
Ren turns back into a human, and says that he understands but that Kelsey is his choice. He asks if she kissed Li, and Kelsey says that she did. He asks why, and Kelsey says it was to compare how she felt about Li versus how she feels about Ren.
Ren picked me up and set me on the couch next to him. He was warming to the topic, and I couldn't figure out why.
He's thinking "threesome."
I expected him to be angry, but he wasn't at all.
"So dating is how you learn if you like each other?"
Oh boy, more inconsistent characterization! Ren just used the word "fazed" in the last chapter. He should know what a date is. In fact, Ren referred to his dinner with Kelsey at the end of Tiger's Curse as a date! He complains about Kelsey thinking he should date supermodels instead of her! So he knows what they are and what they're for!
But here it seems like Ren has never heard the word before, as he says, "I'm just curious about these modern courtship rituals. What did you do on these dates?"
It's just weird.
Anyway, Kelsey says that she's been on multiple other dates, not only with Li, but also with Jason and Artie. She's only kissed Li, though.
"So Li is the one you favor." Ren started mumbling to himself. Turning to face me, he took my hands in his. "Kelsey, I think you should keep dating."
Oof, the wish fulfillment is crazy here. Kelsey has explicit permission to date multiple guys at the same time while they fight for her affections.
Wait, Ren tried to kill Kishan for less in the last book. He just touched Kelsey's face and he fought Kishan to the point of having mortal wounds that would have killed them if they didn't have a Wolverine healing factor.
Ren says that she can keep dating whoever she wants as long as she dates him too, since she hasn't made her choice yet. He also says that he's going with her to wushu class. Kelsey points out that it's a beginner's class, but Ren just wants to show off his masculinity in front of the rival beta male, so he's going regardless. Kelsey agrees, and Ren tells her to treat him like the other guys she's been seeing, i.e., like a normal person. He goes back to his place next door and Kelsey goes to bed.
Ren calls her the next morning to ask her on their first official date, which is actually kind of cute. I would say that it's not their first date, since they had dinner together at the end of the first book, but he did coerce her into that one. So it's their first consensual date. He says he'll pick her up at 5:30, and Kelsey says that he's welcome to come over to her side a bit early if he wants. He says he'll see her at 5:30. Comedy?
She waits all day for him to come over through their connecting door, but even chocolate chip cookies can't draw him over. He shows up at 5:30 with a rose. I'll spare you the overwrought description of his outfit. It's fancy.
Kelsey takes him to a place called Burgerville to introduce him to American food. On the way, Ren fills her in on how things went back in India while she was gone. Both Ren and Kishan have been learning a lot about modern life, and apparently Kishan crashed one of the cars into the giant ostentatious fountain at their mansion, so Mr. Kadam won't let him near the Rolls Royce anymore. That's kind of funny, but it's probably just because it's about Kishan and Kishan has the closest thing to a character arc in this series so I like him more.
Ren's also been learning a lot about how business works, and Mr. Kadam has filled him in on the various investments he's made over the years.
"Apparently, living for centuries, plus Kadam's wise investments, has paid off. We are quite wealthy."
"How wealthy?"
"Wealthy enough to run our own country."
Yet inconspicuous enough to remain off the grid so that one of the most powerful men on the planet, who is equally immortal, hasn't been able to find you for three hundred and fifty years.
Sure.
Ren keeps talking about how cool Mr. Kadam is. He's got contacts all over the world, and lots of important people owe him favors.
"Important people? Like who?"
"Generals, CEOs, politicians from every major city in the world, royalty, and even religious leaders. He's very well connected. [. . . ]"
Uh, that's kind of a problem when you're literally immortal. The more people who know you, the more people can see that you don't age or, like, die. Even the Cullens knew they had to move around and keep to themselves so no one knew they were immortal.
Ren and Kelsey exchange entire paragraphs of dialogue that in no way sound natural. It boils down to Ren feeling indebted to Mr. Kadam for all he's done for himself and Kishan, and Kelsey saying that the best way to show him their thanks is to treat him like their father. There, I summed up a page in one sentence.
They get to Burgerville, and Ren orders an absurd amount of food (because comedy, I guess), and Kelsey explains to the bemused counter girl that he's "very hungry." Laugh, dammit!
Kelsey mentions the test of four houses thing that she's supposed to be working on (no idea what it is yet, and she won't until she gets there), and they share a milkshake like we're in a 50s diner all of a sudden. They "banter" for a bit, and then they go for a walk. Riveting stuff, I know.
We have a...weird non-scene break?
Despite my teasing, being close to him did make me warm, and we talked and watched the moonlit water for hours.
Ren wanted to know about everything I'd done since I left India. He wanted to see Silver Falls, go to the Shakespeare festival, go out to the movies, and try every restaurant in town.
There's no page break, so it looks like this is part of the same scene, but it appears to happen some time later. But then later on, they walk back to the car and drive back home? I dunno. It's confusing.
They talk a bit more about how Terrible it was when Kelsey left, and how Kishan missed her too, frequently threatening to head back into the jungle. Kishan also listened in on Kelsey's phone calls with Mr. Kadam, which is not great!
Kelsey is still trying to justify her choice to leave Ren, and says that she only wanted to make things easier for Ren as he gets used to the modern world. Not sure how his only friend, who grew up in modern times, not talking to him anymore would help, but sure.
"You don't complicate my life. You simplify it. When you're near, I know exactly where I should be--by your side. When you were gone, I just ran around in confused circles. My life was unbalanced. Out of focus."
"So I'm your Ritalin, huh?"
It's not quite "You're my own personal brand of heroin," but it'll do in a pinch.
Ren asks what she means, and she says that it's a medicine that helps you concentrate better. Ren says not to forget he needs frequent doses. Hardy har, come on, laugh! This is what passes for humor!
They head back home, and Ren leaves Kelsey at her front door and doesn't come inside, like he's some sort of vampire. Kelsey is "confused and slightly frustrated" that he doesn't join her inside, which means that she was ready to bone down, I guess?
Over the next few weeks, Ren dates Kelsey like a normal person, by which I mean "like a weirdo." He refuses to see Kelsey unless they're on a date, and calls every morning to set up a meeting later on. Uh, Ren, you do realize that you're allowed to have contact with the other person even if you're not on an official "date," right? This is like what people did when they needed chaperones to allow a man and a woman to talk to each other. It's dumb.
It's supposed to look like Ren is dating like a normal human person, but it still feels really controlling. Now that Kelsey actually wants to see him, he doesn't let her unless it's on his terms. He framed this whole thing to make it look like it was so Kelsey could make a choice, but...he's literally still calling all of the shots, here. Kelsey keeps trying to see him, but he won't let her. It's weird and creepy and I don't like it!
Otherwise, they've started reading through Othello, because Shakespeare = Othello and Shakespeare = Romeo and Juliet, and Romeo and Juliet = love, so therefore Romeo and Juliet = Othello = love. I think my math checks out.
The only other connection I can think of is that Houck is trying to draw a parallel between Othello and Desdemona and Ren and Kelsey because they're...different? I don't know. Othello isn't very applicable to the themes in Tiger's Quest. Because there are no themes in Tiger's Quest, because Tiger's Quest is just a series of events that happen until the book ends.
Until Othello was deceived by Iago, Ren really liked his character.
"Othello destroyed his and Desdemona's love, just like Romeo did. It had nothing to do with Iago," Ren commented thoughtfully. "Othello didn't trust his wife. If he had only asked her what had happened to his handkerchief or how she felt about Cassio, he would have learned the truth."
Hmmm, are you saying that communication is good for a relationship? Practice what you preach.
Also, I have no idea how this is applicable to the plot. There is literally nothing about treachery or not trusting your partner in this story. Not kidding.
Kelsey says that Othello hadn't known Desdemona for very long, so they might not have been in love, just that Desdemona liked hearing Othello's stories about adventure or something. Ren asks if that's what Kelsey thinks about him, and Kelsey says that she likes being with him even when they're not doing their Indiana Jones thing in India. Which, uh, renders that whole conversation moot, I guess.
Eventually, Kelsey gets annoyed that Ren is refusing to see her outside of their once-a-day dates, so she heads over to his side of the duplex to find him. She snoops around for a bit, but he doesn't seem to be in. His computer is open to a few files, so Kelsey decides to take a peek. Hey, Ren already said he listened into her phone calls, it's only fair, I guess?
He has a couple of web pages open, one to a designer clothing store (because he's very rich, don't you ever forget that) and one to an analysis of courtship through the ages (which means he's trying, I guess). The third thing open is an email chain from Mr. Kadam. I'll post them in full (because they're really short).
From: masteratarms@rajaramcorp.com
To: whttgr@rajaramcorp.com
Subject: Documents
Ren,
The issue of the documents is resolved.
Kadam
From: masteratarms@rajaramcorp.com
To: whttgr@rajaramcorp.com
Subject: Relocation
Ren,
Per your request, I’ve attached a file in case of emergency.
Kadam
Hee hee, I love their email addresses. I think mine looked like that when I made fake emails in elementary school when I wanted to sign up for Neopets. Also, for speaking about a clandestine operation involving documents and relocation, it's absolutely transparent who these two are if you know what you're looking for. Lokesh knows what he's looking for. This is dumb.
But yeah, Ren and Mr. Kadam are involved in some secret plan involving documents and relocation! They're obviously about Kelsey, because she's the protagonist, but it's nice that Ren is still keeping things from Kelsey that she should probably know. Like, uh, "Keep a low profile so our immortal enemy can't find you and kill you."
Ren walks in and catches her about to look into more of his emails. Seriously, he stops her as her cursor is over the attachment when he stops her.
"It's appropriate to ask for permission before snooping into personal documents, don't you think?"
It's appropriate to ask for permission before listening into phone calls, moving in next door to your ex, and forcing her to be around you, don't you think?
Kelsey says that she was looking for him and got sidetracked.
I stared at my shoelaces for a few seconds but quickly found a spark of annoyance to assuage the guilt and lifted my head. "Have you been hiding things from me?"
"No."
"Well is there something important going on here that you're not telling me?"
"No," he repeated.
"Promise me," I said quietly, "promise me with a royal oath."
He took my hands in his, looked me in the eyes, and said, "As the prince of the Mujulaain Empire, I promise you that there is nothing to worry about here. If you are concerned, ask Mr. Kadam." He leaned his head a little bit closer. "But what I really want is your trust. I won't abuse it, Kelsey."
Ren is a liar.
He's obviously been hiding things from her, because there's a whole thing about relocation. It's obviously not his relocation to India, because his correspondence with Mr. Kadam refers to an emergency. There hasn't been an emergency.
There is also something important going on. He's obviously planning something big with Mr. Kadam in case of an emergency. This seems like it would be useful for Kelsey to know, especially since we know from the last book that Lokesh knows who she is now, and will likely try to come and find her. The characters know this too. This is something important that Ren hasn't told her.
Ren's "royal oath" means diddly squat because there ISN'T a Mujulaain Empire anymore. There hasn't been for hundreds of years.
And HOO BOY the bit about "all I want is your trust" is making me hear horror movie music. This isn't great.
It would be fine if this was building up to something. But it's not! We already know that Lokesh is looking for Kelsey! When it's revealed later (spoilers, sorry) that he is, it's not a surprise! What's the advantage of keeping Kelsey in the dark here? Because she'll be scared? This way is much more dangerous!
She says that he'd better not abuse her trust, and he says he won't and kisses her hand, and then leaves the room.
The romantic daze
Sorry, that conversation was romantic to you??? I'm sketched out beyond belief!
The romantic daze dissipated soon after he left, and I found myself angry at the ease with which he bent me to his will with just a casual touch.
Yeah, that's not normal.
This chapter still isn't over, because we have to witness Li's awkward encounter with Ren at wushu! Great!!!!
Kelsey walks up to Li after a particularly abysmal class because she couldn't concentrate. Kelsey says that Ren is back, and Li, bless him, says that he was wondering when Ren would be back. He asks if she's breaking up with him, but he doesn't seem too upset about it.
Kelsey says that Ren wants them to keep dating as long as Ren date Kelsey at the same time. Li seems confused, and Kelsey explains, almost word-for-word from her conversation with Ren, that she can date both of them and then choose between them. Li isn't skeeved out by this proposition, and says that he's up for a little honest competition.
Good-bye, Li. It was nice to have a character that acted like a human for a little while, at least.
Li says that his grandfather taught him to fight his battles and that anyone who wouldn't fight for a girl is dumb. Essentially. Li asks where Ren lives, and Kelsey tells him that Ren lives next door.
"Right. He already has a proximity advantage, then."
I mumbled wryly, "Sounds like you guys are planning to storm the castle."
Is, uh, is that a euphemism?
Kelsey says that Ren is coming to the next wushu class. She says that Ren isn't at her level, which Li interprets to mean that he's a beginner. Whomp whomp! Kelsey tries to correct him, but he "shut[s] [her] up" by kissing her, which is rude.
The next morning, Kelsey wakes up to a note from Ren on her fridge, which means he's been over without her knowing, the creep. It's a quote from Bertrand Russell, which reads, "Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness."
Subtle.
Kelsey tells him over the phone that she's not happy about him going to wushu class, but he dismisses her, because he has to show how macho he is, I guess. This is not great. I thought this whole venture was to show her you valued her feelings by letting her choose?
Ren and Kelsey drive over to wushu, and Kelsey bumps into Jen while she's warming up. You know, Jen. (It's okay if you don't remember. She does nothing.)
Jen, possessor of two X chromosomes and therefore not immune to Ren's charms as a weak woman, is shocked when he walks in.
Her eyes were practically popping out of their sockets. . . .
Ren took off his jacket, which solicited a squeak from Jennifer who was now totally focused on Ren's golden-bronze biceps. . . .
I hissed at him quietly, "For heaven's sake, Ren! You're going to give the woman heart palpitations!"
Because he's just that hot, guys.
Kelsey introduces Ren to the class as her friend from India, and Jen suddenly understands who he is. Because they had that conversation about the guy Kelsey left behind, remember.
Li starts teaching the class, and is suprised that Ren knows all of the moves. I mean, I am also surprised, because since when does Ren know wushu? Not all martial arts are exactly the same. There's a huge difference between karate and aikido, and those are both just from Japan.
They partner up for takedown drills, Kelsey with Li and Ren with Jennifer. Kelsey spaces out while she watches Ren interact with Jennifer, so when Li takes her down she goes down a little harder than normal.
"I'm so sorry, Kelsey! Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to--"
Before he could finish apologizing, Li was thrown to the mat a few feet away. Ren kneeled over me.
"Did he hurt you, Kells? Are you alright?"
What the fuck, Ren. This stuff happens in class! It's a contact sport, you get hit sometimes! You should know this because you train all the time! This is supposed to come off as romantic because Ooh Ren won't let anyone hurt Kelsey, but he just looks like a huge dick! The teacher is doing what he's supposed to do, and it was literally Kelsey's fault she fell too hard!
Li takes it in stride, pretty well, though, and says that he'd like to see Ren try that again. Because machismo.
Li finishes up class, while he and Ren stare daggers at each other the entire time. Kelsey promises to explain the whole situation to Jen after class. Then the next paragraph it's after class, so I don't know why they even had that conversation.
[Jen] squeezed my arm. "Your Ren is wonderful. And absolutely yummy."
Ew.
Kelsey explains the whole situation, and instead of offering anything useful, Jen just waffles on about how hot Ren is.
"This is so exciting! It's better than my favorite soap opera. Good luck, Kelsey. See you Monday."
Scene change! What follows is my least favorite sentence so far:
Dating Li, Ren, and Jason at the same time was absolutely ridiculous.
Thanks, I hate it!
Nothing much happens in this little micro-scene except for an extended metaphor about how guys fighting for your attention is like jousting. Wink wink, nudge nudge.
During his century, men probably did battle for females.
During the, uh, 17th century? Probably not? Also, Ren was a prince, so he'd have an arranged marriage. He did have an arranged marriage, and only didn't get married to Yesubai because of some Romeo and Juliet bullshit.
(Quick side note--I looked Ren up on the Tiger's Curse wiki because I forgot how old he was, and his character description is amazing.
All of Kelsey's dumb nicknames for him.
One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong...
My name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way...
Okay, side not over. Sorry.)
Scene change! Li and Ren keep trying to outdo each other while dating Kelsey. One night, Kelsey and Ren are watching Star Wars (which I guess means A New Hope, because at the time this was published there were six of them).
He liked Luke and thought that Han Solo was too much of a bad boy.
Incorrect.
"He's not worthy of Princess Leia," which gave me a deeper understanding of his knight-in-shining-armor persona.
Also incorrect. And I'm not sure "persona" is the correct word here, because it makes it look like it's an act he's putting on to fool Kelsey. Which would be cool in a better work. Here, it's because I'm not sure the author knows how words work.
Scene change! Kelsey has a date with Jason. While Li knows about the weird two-timing thing going on, Kelsey has neglected to tell Jason about it. Which isn't fair to him. I know he's a stereotypical "dumb jock" character, but he seems nice enough to me?
Kelsey heads downstairs all dolled up for her date, and Ren gets possessive about it.
"Why are you dressed like that? Where are you going?"
"Jason's taking me to a play in Portland. Besides, I thought you had some kind of chivalrous noninterference policy regarding my dating anyway."
"When you dress like that, I get to interfere all I want to."
"When you dress like that, you deserve it." Fucking gross.
Jason rings the doorbell, and sees Ren when Kelsey opens the door. Kelsey introduces Ren as her friend from India, which confirms that Jason has no idea what is going on. Ren threatens him into saying that he'll take care of Kelsey on their date (even calling her "my girl," no emphasis added), because Ren only reacts to threats to his manhood with violence. And, oh boy, more troubling thoughts from Kelsey now that she's not in the presence of Ren's hotness beam!
It was actually a relief being with Jason. I didn't feel the intense pressure that I now felt with Li and Ren.
Get out of there, and fast! That's not a good thing! She quickly justifies it, though.
Not that they were pressuring me. Ren in particular seemed to have infinite patience.
So that's why he's threatening every guy who so much as breathes at Kelsey? All that patience and confidence that she'll choose him?
Jason takes her to see The Lion King because cat. I actually think it's because Kelsey name-dropped Hamlet a couple of pages ago, but it didn't really make much sense then, either, so cat. Kelsey thinks about how she'd rather be there with Ren than with Jason.
After the show, an old lady drops her playbill in the parking lot, and when she bends over to pick it up, a car comes by and doesn't see her! Oh, no!!! Kelsey runs out in front of the car to get them to stop, but it doesn't stop fast enough. Oh, no, something terrible could have happened!!! Is she okay???
My strappy shoes got caught on a crack in the pavement as I tried to move out of the way. The car bumped me, and I fell over.
Oh, she's fine, then. Seriously, the stakes were higher when Bella almost got hit by the car in Twilight.
Other than a few bumps and bruises, Kelsey is fine, although her dress and shoes got a bit damaged. Somehow. A photographer from the theater runs out and starts snapping pictures. For some reason. Jason soaks up the attention, and says that Kelsey is a hero, and gives her name out to the paper to show off how great his date is.
Jason talks to Kelsey the brick wall on the way home, about normal college things because Kelsey is Above All That (like how he's looking forward to next semester and the last party he went to). She is annoyed when he doesn't open the door for her, like Ren the asshole gentleman would have done.
Kelsey says that she thinks they should stop dating, but that she'd still like to be friends. Jason asks if there's someone else, and she says "sort of." He says he'll be around if she changes her mind while eyeing the window fearfully.
"Thanks, Jason. You're a great guy." A little gutless, but still nice.
Your other boyfriend threatened him! That's how a normal person would act!
Kelsey thinks that it didn't go very badly, and that the next time it'll be tougher. Because it's obvious that she's going to dump Li for Ren. Ren has left another note for Kelsey. This one is from Barbara DeAngelis, and says, "You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back." Because subtlety.
One down. And one to go.
I hate this book.
Closing Thoughts
Hey, remember when this was a series about breaking ancient curses and fighting supernatural monsters? Good times.
Did you catch the plot point that happened? There was one (1) important thing in here.
Next time, Chapter 7: Back to School! Thrill as nothing continues to happen! This book sucks!
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