Chapter 9: Kishan
Welcome back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense! Last time, Plot happened! Well, the setup for later Plot, but it's still something. Ren's name and picture have been published in a magazine (like, a physical magazine, rather than something like an online local news article, which would make much more sense), which means that it's now possible for Lokesh to find her. Oh no! What are they going to do to try to keep Lokesh from finding her?
A fat load of absolutely nothing, as this is another filler chapter where Kelsey just...hangs out with her two love interests instead of, uh, trying to not die, I guess.
Neato.
Chapter Nine: Kishan
Also, Kishan is back! I'm actually okay with this because I (kind of) like Kishan. Sure, he's got a lot of the same bad qualities as Ren (overly violent and territorial), but he has an actual excuse for being like this, since he lived by himself as a tiger out in the wild for about three hundred years. So it makes sense that he'd be a bit more "animalistic" than Ren, who's lived in captivity around people for ages.
With no word of Lokesh, and thankfully, nothing out of the ordinary happening, I loosened up enough to enjoy the annual Valentine's dance.
So just because you haven't heard anything from him, it's safe to assume that there's nothing wrong? Even though Lokesh is an evil wizard? No? Also, I'm pretty sure there should be either a comma before "thankfully" or the comma after "thankfully" should be removed.
The night would be fun, and all the proceeds would go toward funding the Jensen Arctic Museum.
Lolwat? Maybe it's because I'm not from Oregon, but I have no idea what this is, so it's jarring to read about it. Apparently it was located on the WOU campus. I say "was" because it shut down in 2013 due to lack of funding. So it looks like Kelsey's Valentine's dance/fundraiser was unsuccessful.
Ren pulls out a dress for Kelsey to wear to the dance. Kelsey even points out that he's trying to choose what she gets to wear. Ren says that he likes her in anything, but still adamantly insists that he wants her to wear this specific dress, because Ren likes to tell her what to do. It turns out that she's worn all of her other dresses on dates with other people, and Ren wants her to wear something specifically for him. Incidentally, he has made her dry clean her other dresses after dating Artie, Jason, and Li, ostensibly to get their smell out, but he still doesn't like her to wear them because Ren is creepy and possessive.
It was a wrap style dress that tied at the side of my waist. A box on the floor contained strappy red shoes.
I sighed. What is the obsession that men have with strappy shoes?
She doesn't have to wear them if she doesn't want to? She's not obligated to wear them, especially if she doesn't like them, and it seems like she really doesn't.
Kelsey gets ready until Ren rings the front door. Kelsey lets him in and he's just So Hot, guys. He gets upgraded from warrior angel to "warrior-archangel" and now Kelsey feels insecure next to him because he looks "like a supermodel that had just stepped off the pages of GQ," just in case you forgot how hot he is.
He gives her a present for Valentine's day (giving me flashbacks to the interminable Christmas chapter), and it's a pair of ruby earrings (which are lovely, of course).
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. "Thank you. I love them."
"Why do I see a 'but' in your expression?"
"The 'but' is that you really don't need to buy me expensive things. I'm perfectly happy with normal, average things like . . . socks."
Girl, same.
Ren is not impressed because Ren is a douche:
He scoffed, "Socks are hardly a romantic present. This is a special occasion. Don't spoil my night, Kells. Just tell me that you love me and that you love the earrings."
See re: above "douche" comment.
Kelsey gives Ren her gift, and it's a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, which I don't think has any thematic relevance to what's going on. I haven't actually read that one, but from what I can tell it's a revenge story about the main character's wrongful imprisonment which is...not super relevant to any of the characters' situations? I guess the imprisonment thing comes up at some point, but there isn't really any revenge narrative associated with it...
Although Kelsey literally just says out loud that the wrongful imprisonment refers to Ren's captivity in the circus for hundreds of years, but he doesn't really seem to have a problem with that whole thing. So I have no idea.
Ren has rented out a private dining room for Valentine's Day, which Kelsey says is a bit extra, but Ren says that he wants her all to himself. Because he's possessive. He hands her a poem that he wrote for her, which is transcribed below exactly how it appears in my ebook copy, inconsistent capitalization and all (snarky commentary added):
I lit a candle and watched the flame.
It danced and twisted
Wild and unfettered.
I mean, it's a candle, which by definition is contained to a wick, which is pretty much the exact opposite of "wild" or "unfettered."
It captured me and flickered in my eyes.
There's metaphor, and then there's somehow being able to describe how a candle flame looks as a reflection in your own eyes while you're narrating the events in first person. It's weird.
When I passed my hand over it
It stirred.
Yeah, that's how candles work.
The flame rose higher, burned hotter.
When I pulled my hand away the heat
diminished,
grew fainter, and extinguished.
I stretched out my hand again to savor the
burn.
Would it singe and scald? Blister and blaze?
Well, it won't scald, because boiling water scalds, not fire. Same with blaze--the other words describe injuries, but "blaze" is just a thing that fire does as a state of existence. One of these things is not like the others...
No! It tingled and warmed,
Smoldered and glowed,
Setting me ablaze, body and soul.
You should probably get a better candle that doesn't set you on fire.
It was glittering, luminous, radiant
The fiery blush of her cheek.
It's signed "Ren" at the bottom, which is hilariously overkill. Like, dude, it's clear that you're the author because you just told her you wrote it.
Like, I'm not a poet (nor have I ever enjoyed the poetry units in my Engish classes), so I have no idea if I'm totally off base with thinking that this poem is bad. Maybe it sounds better in Hindi.
Kelsey of course loves it, and they "banter" for a while and then kiss and it's very Romantic. She does say that she feels guilty about Ren spending all this money on her, and Ren says not to worry about it. Then they go to the Valentine's dance at school and it's very Romantic.
He hummed along to a song called "My Confession."
I assume this is "My Confession" by Josh Groban. It's pretty awful, but then again I have a very weird taste in music, so *shrugs*.
We get some hilariously on-the-nose dialogue:
A fat load of absolutely nothing, as this is another filler chapter where Kelsey just...hangs out with her two love interests instead of, uh, trying to not die, I guess.
Neato.
Chapter Nine: Kishan
Also, Kishan is back! I'm actually okay with this because I (kind of) like Kishan. Sure, he's got a lot of the same bad qualities as Ren (overly violent and territorial), but he has an actual excuse for being like this, since he lived by himself as a tiger out in the wild for about three hundred years. So it makes sense that he'd be a bit more "animalistic" than Ren, who's lived in captivity around people for ages.
With no word of Lokesh, and thankfully, nothing out of the ordinary happening, I loosened up enough to enjoy the annual Valentine's dance.
So just because you haven't heard anything from him, it's safe to assume that there's nothing wrong? Even though Lokesh is an evil wizard? No? Also, I'm pretty sure there should be either a comma before "thankfully" or the comma after "thankfully" should be removed.
The night would be fun, and all the proceeds would go toward funding the Jensen Arctic Museum.
Lolwat? Maybe it's because I'm not from Oregon, but I have no idea what this is, so it's jarring to read about it. Apparently it was located on the WOU campus. I say "was" because it shut down in 2013 due to lack of funding. So it looks like Kelsey's Valentine's dance/fundraiser was unsuccessful.
Ren pulls out a dress for Kelsey to wear to the dance. Kelsey even points out that he's trying to choose what she gets to wear. Ren says that he likes her in anything, but still adamantly insists that he wants her to wear this specific dress, because Ren likes to tell her what to do. It turns out that she's worn all of her other dresses on dates with other people, and Ren wants her to wear something specifically for him. Incidentally, he has made her dry clean her other dresses after dating Artie, Jason, and Li, ostensibly to get their smell out, but he still doesn't like her to wear them because Ren is creepy and possessive.
It was a wrap style dress that tied at the side of my waist. A box on the floor contained strappy red shoes.
I sighed. What is the obsession that men have with strappy shoes?
She doesn't have to wear them if she doesn't want to? She's not obligated to wear them, especially if she doesn't like them, and it seems like she really doesn't.
Kelsey gets ready until Ren rings the front door. Kelsey lets him in and he's just So Hot, guys. He gets upgraded from warrior angel to "warrior-archangel" and now Kelsey feels insecure next to him because he looks "like a supermodel that had just stepped off the pages of GQ," just in case you forgot how hot he is.
He gives her a present for Valentine's day (giving me flashbacks to the interminable Christmas chapter), and it's a pair of ruby earrings (which are lovely, of course).
I stood on my tiptoes and kissed him. "Thank you. I love them."
"Why do I see a 'but' in your expression?"
"The 'but' is that you really don't need to buy me expensive things. I'm perfectly happy with normal, average things like . . . socks."
Girl, same.
Ren is not impressed because Ren is a douche:
He scoffed, "Socks are hardly a romantic present. This is a special occasion. Don't spoil my night, Kells. Just tell me that you love me and that you love the earrings."
See re: above "douche" comment.
Kelsey gives Ren her gift, and it's a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo, which I don't think has any thematic relevance to what's going on. I haven't actually read that one, but from what I can tell it's a revenge story about the main character's wrongful imprisonment which is...not super relevant to any of the characters' situations? I guess the imprisonment thing comes up at some point, but there isn't really any revenge narrative associated with it...
Although Kelsey literally just says out loud that the wrongful imprisonment refers to Ren's captivity in the circus for hundreds of years, but he doesn't really seem to have a problem with that whole thing. So I have no idea.
Ren has rented out a private dining room for Valentine's Day, which Kelsey says is a bit extra, but Ren says that he wants her all to himself. Because he's possessive. He hands her a poem that he wrote for her, which is transcribed below exactly how it appears in my ebook copy, inconsistent capitalization and all (snarky commentary added):
I lit a candle and watched the flame.
It danced and twisted
Wild and unfettered.
I mean, it's a candle, which by definition is contained to a wick, which is pretty much the exact opposite of "wild" or "unfettered."
It captured me and flickered in my eyes.
There's metaphor, and then there's somehow being able to describe how a candle flame looks as a reflection in your own eyes while you're narrating the events in first person. It's weird.
When I passed my hand over it
It stirred.
Yeah, that's how candles work.
The flame rose higher, burned hotter.
When I pulled my hand away the heat
diminished,
grew fainter, and extinguished.
Fire indeed hot!
I stretched out my hand again to savor the
burn.
Would it singe and scald? Blister and blaze?
Well, it won't scald, because boiling water scalds, not fire. Same with blaze--the other words describe injuries, but "blaze" is just a thing that fire does as a state of existence. One of these things is not like the others...
No! It tingled and warmed,
Smoldered and glowed,
Setting me ablaze, body and soul.
You should probably get a better candle that doesn't set you on fire.
It was glittering, luminous, radiant
The fiery blush of her cheek.
It's signed "Ren" at the bottom, which is hilariously overkill. Like, dude, it's clear that you're the author because you just told her you wrote it.
Like, I'm not a poet (nor have I ever enjoyed the poetry units in my Engish classes), so I have no idea if I'm totally off base with thinking that this poem is bad. Maybe it sounds better in Hindi.
Kelsey of course loves it, and they "banter" for a while and then kiss and it's very Romantic. She does say that she feels guilty about Ren spending all this money on her, and Ren says not to worry about it. Then they go to the Valentine's dance at school and it's very Romantic.
He hummed along to a song called "My Confession."
I assume this is "My Confession" by Josh Groban. It's pretty awful, but then again I have a very weird taste in music, so *shrugs*.
What I know about this song is that it doesn't sound like a song that a college school dance would play on Valentine's day. In 2011.
Smiling, I admitted, "This song describes how I feel about you. It took a long time for me to confess how I feel about you, even to myself."
This literally feels like a line of dialogue from a clip show episode of a soap opera.
Ren says that he knows how she felt about him ever since they kissed in Kishkindha. You know, the one he bullied her into giving him before he would leave Kishkindha? After kissing her throughout the whole stay in Kishkindha anyway even though Kelsey repeatedly told him to stop?
Oh, but she was clearly asking for it. You should have seen what she was wearing. U G H.
Anyway. Kelsey promises that she'll never leave him again, they kiss, it's Romantic, and then they start dancing to tango music. Yeah, I don't know why we're listening to tango music all of a sudden, but that's apparently what's happening. This DJ has no idea what they're doing.
He was able to sweep through the moves expertly, even though I didn't know what I was doing. The dance was fiery and passionate, and I was quickly overwhelmed by him and the cadence of the melody. He wrapped me up in a blanket of mental and physical sensations, orchestrating the perfect seduction.
Always remember that Ren Is Perfect.
Kelsey asks where he learned to dance like that (in a line of dialogue missing the opening quotation marks, because this book was edited by toddlers), and Ren says that he learned lots of classical dancing from his mother. Uh, that doesn't really answer the question, given that Deschen was ambiguously Asian and lived in India three hundred and fifty years ago, and he's dancing the tango. He also says that Mr. Kadam taught him how to dance while Ren partnered with Nilima.
Wow, sure glad they're working hard to break that curse and stop Lokesh.
Kelsey says that she doesn't like that he was dancing with Nilima, and Ren says that he likes it when Kelsey gets jealous, because these characters are less people and more a loose collection of personality traits thrown into a magic 8 ball that is shaken before every scene.
We started slow dancing again, and I put my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes, and just let myself enjoy the feeling of being held by him. The song was halfway over when I felt him stiffen
and saw him look behind me.
Oh thank God.
But what could Ren be looking at?
"Well . . . well . . . well," a silky voice interrupted. "The shoe's on the other foot this time. I believe this is my dance."
I spun around. "Kishan? I'm so happy to see you!" I threw my arms around him.
Kishan hugs her back and says that he's happy to see her too. Then the chapter just ends.
Closing Thoughts
Why is there a big reveal at the end of the chapter that Kishan is in Oregon when the chapter title itself spoils this happening. Don't worry about it.
Hey, nothing happened in this chapter! Again! Sorry it's so short, there just really wasn't a whole lot to talk about in this one. The next one will be longer, I think.
Also, I shipped my physical copy of Tiger's Quest (and Tiger's Curse) to my current address, so I will finally be able to see if the ebook copy is the same as the physical copy. Who knows? I sure don't!
Next time, Chapter Ten: Hired Guns. It sure sounds exciting, but like this chapter, we have to get through some boring filler before anything happens. But, I promise things finally start happening in the next chapter! The exact page being about 35% of the way through this snoozefest. Which is just bad pacing because literally n o t h i n g h a s h a p p e n e d I'm so b o r e d.
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