Sporks


spork noun
spork | /spɔːk/

     1. an eating utensil combining features of a spoon and a fork

     2. a long-form review of terrible fiction

Tiger's Curse series by Colleen Houck

      

Moon People by Dale M. Courtney


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Moon People, Part II: Putting a Sexy Smile on My Face

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Hello!  *Looks at calender* Uh, sorry for the long delay in posting. I now emerge from my finals cocoon, ready to completely forget everything I just spent all semester learning. And what better way to do that than read some more of my new favorite book,  Moon People ? In the last installment of  Moon People , we started our dive into author Dale M. Courtney's incoherent ramblings and inability to understand what a paragraph is.  He also seems to think that an introduction is supposed to explain the entire plot, which makes no sense. Well, one of the things we didn't get to touch on last time is that sweet, sweet dialogue.  Now I've made fun of Houck's dialogue in the  Tiger's Curse  series, and I'm not exactly the best at writing dialogue myself, but at least Houck and I know how quotation marks work. Before I get started with the book itself, I did some sleuthing about who the hell Dale M. Courtney is, and I stumbled across his Facebook page. One of the
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Chapter 13: Waterfall

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Well, most of my grades are out by this point, and they went well! To celebrate: more Tiger's Curse . Last time, I had to issue a correction about the new character showing up. He actually shows up in the next chapter after this one. So I was close, but missed it by a couple of chapters. I can't wait until he shows up. This is another pretty pointless chapter. Kelsey and Mr. Kadam have another conversation, and then Ren and Kelsey go back into the jungle to wait for more stuff to happen, and then it ends. See you in the next chapter! Okay, fine, I'll get deeper into this one. But, really, nothing happens. Chapter Thirteen: Waterfall Kelsey wakes up to find a backpack already packed for her once again, and a note from Mr. Kadam telling her that she should pack for a couple of days of travel. Also that she should bring a swimsuit. It looks like they're going traveling again. I'm not sure how long they've been back at Ren's house, but I think it'
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Tiger's Curse Spork: Introduction and Prologue

Introduction and First Impressions Self-published e-books can be a bit of a mixed bag.   For every Andy Weir or Hugh Howey, there’s an E.L. James or, well, a Colleen Houck.   Houck self-published Tiger’s Curse in 2010 as the beginning of a five-part series;  i n 2011, she got picked up by Sterling Publishing and landed on the New York Times bestseller list.   There are now four books in the series, with a fifth on the way (EDIT: the fifth and final book, Tiger's Dream , was published on March 20, 2018). It’s also terrible. Terrible .   It’s hard to overstate how terrible this book is.             It’s honestly really difficult to figure out how to start talking about this book.   If you talk about the plot (or lack thereof), you downplay the problems with characterization.   If you talk about characterization, you ignore the issues with dialogue.   If you talk about dialogue, you neglect talking about the prose.   Or the pacing.   Or the abject creepiness of our two
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