A Side of Panache

Hey, this isn't what you normally blog about! Yep, you're right!  This post was originally going to be about either Pestilence (which I've, uh, been teasing for about a year now but I keep getting distracted) or The Enchanted Forest Chronicles (which is very good), but sometimes you stumble across something so unbelievably wonderful that you have to share it with as many people as possible. Holy shit, this book makes me so immeasurably happy.  I'm so excited to talk about it. Enter Moon People . When my sister visited a little over a month ago, we ended up pulling up this  list of the worst books ever written .  Now, I'm no stranger to reading bad books for fun.  Hell, that's what the primary purpose of this blog is.  I've read The Eye of Argon .  I've read Atlanta Nights .  If I haven't personally read it, I've usually at least heard of it.  But I'd never heard of Moon People .  I'd never seen it mentioned online anywhere, and ...

Hello, and welcome back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense! Last time, we got a mix of nothing happening and some shoddy worldbuilding that makes no sense.  Also, Kelsey wants to date Kishan now. This time, Ren further cements himself as an unlikable, petty bitch. Actually, before I get started, I'd just like to say that I still don't have the foggiest idea why Houck decided to retcon how Kelsey's powers work. Houck rightly realized that the way she'd written Kelsey's powers--the ability to shoot bolts of lightning--wouldn't work underwater.  She'd be able to electrocute her immediate surroundings (like an electric eel) but she wouldn't be able to shoot bolts at a target that's far away. So Houck's solution was to make it a concentrated burst of fire to avoid the problem with the lightning, somehow COMPLETELY overlooking the fact that fire doesn't work underwater either .  Yes, underwater blowtorches are a thing, but those seem t...

Hello, and welcome back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense! Last time, we had a lot of actual Plot happen!  Ren broke up with Kelsey because he can't smush protect her, and Durga gave them two gifts--a kamandal and a spear/trident/sai combo, and pointed them to the right direction once they get to the City of Seven Pagodas to complete their quest. Exhausted with this massive amount of plot happening all at once, Houck made this chapter more filler.  It's the obligatory Beach Episode !  So, uh, more annoying relationship drama.  And I was wrong about the new character showing up, sorry--that's next chapter.  Whoops. Chapter Eleven: Beach Party It really feels like there should be an exclamation point after that chapter title. Kelsey meets up with Wes, Ren, and Kishan to do some shark training exercises, which involves watching videos of sharks swimming around in the ocean.  Wes gives some advice on how to avoid provoking sharks, including not w...

Hello, and welcome back to our irregularly scheduled nonsense! Last time, uh, Kelsey learned how to dive.  Wes clearly isn't a very good teacher, because Kelsey bonked herself in the head with a coral reef/big honking rock and knocked herself out.  It's like she has a power switch on her noggin. This time, Houck remembers, oh yeah, she already gave us the prophecy, so it's about time they try to fulfill that! Chapter Ten: Durga's Temple Mmm, that's some good Plot.  It's like drinking some instant coffee at a motel after driving for twelve straight hours--it's not good coffee, but it's still coffee. Kelsey regains consciousness lying on the deck of the yacht and coughs up a bunch of seawater.  She looks up and sees Kishan leaning over her, concerned.  She asks what happened, and Kishan says not to worry.  Ren's standing against the far wall as far away as possible. Wes looks Kelsey over for injuries and seems satisfied that she's not i...